Knowing that I was not alone, that other members of Al‑Anon were in the same situation as I was, struggling with the same disease, allowed me to deal with the shame and guilt associated with the disease. It also allowed me to share more easily and understand that, in asking others for help and in listening to their experience, strength, and hope, I was able to allow myself to shed some of my pain and begin to heal the hole in my heart.
Understanding that I was powerless over alcohol and its effects on my family allowed me to gain some sense of manageability in the home. I no longer felt that it was up to me to fix everything or that I was to blame for what was happening in our lives. I found that by accepting the situation as it was, I could find some sanity. I was no longer allowing obsessive thoughts to fill my every waking moment and every sleepless night. By understanding that I was powerless, I suddenly found I could sleep, and I had more time to do other things. I no longer sought refuge in my car, listening to the same song over and over again, crying all the time. I was finally able to function with sanity, hope, and manageability.
By Manette M., California
The Forum, February 2020