Growing up, gift-giving occasions could be emotionally complex and intense. There were unspoken expectations of how to prove your love: the gift had to be the right type and cost a certain amount. It had to be delivered in a carefully orchestrated manner to elicit the desired response. I would silently hope I had done enough and spent enough to reassure the alcoholic I loved them. Giving out of obligation created resentment, but I continued to play the game. I didn’t know there was another way.

When I came into the program, I was not told I had to contribute money or do service. Nor was I told how to do it. Slowly, I started to follow others’ examples. I put money in the basket and volunteered when I realized I wanted the group to continue and that I had a part to play in that. I was pretty selfish; I just wanted my group to be there for me!

Over time, being in Al-Anon has transformed my idea of what it means to give and to receive. Today, I know that there are many ways of giving: I can share; I can listen; I can be of service; I can forgive; I can thank; I can love. Today, I give because I am grateful and want to, not because I have to. I give from my bounty, not from my reserve. I recognize that gratitude is more than an attitude; it can also be an action.

Step Ten comes to mind as the end of the year approaches: How have I given? How have I received? Have I felt gratitude…and acted on it with the guidance of my Higher Power? A grateful member writes in As We Understood… (B-11): “‘To keep it, you have to give it away.’ You gave it to me, every one of you, each in your own way. I am eternally grateful because you gave me back my life and added a quality to it that I did not imagine existed” (p. 21).

I used to think a contribution was made only out of gratitude for what I received in the past or for how I feel in the present. Today, I believe it can also be a statement of hope for the future. When I give to Al-Anon, I share my experience, strength, and hope with others—the hope that they can find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

As we reflect on the gifts we have received in Al-Anon, we recognize that gratitude is both a feeling and a practice. One way we honor that gratitude is through giving. We can do so in several ways:

  • Visit the Contributions page on our website at al-anon.org/contributions and contribute via PayPal or credit card.
  • Use the Contributions tab on the Al-Anon Family Groups Mobile App to contribute electronically via Apple Pay or Google Pay.
  • Make an individual or group contribution to the World Service Office by mail to AFG, Inc. at 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, VA 23454, USA.
  • Visit our website to learn more about leaving Al-Anon a bequest at al-anon.org/bequest.

Thank you.

By Olivia S-G., Paralegal

The Forum, November 2026

“Inside Al‑Anon Family Groups” presents news, policy, and commentary from volunteers, staff and readers sharing experience through service. Please feel free to reprint these articles on your service structure website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.