I came out of retirement when Child Protective Services took my granddaughter away from my son for the third time. Her mother was in and out of jail, and my son was mostly in an alcoholic haze.
I love my granddaughter with all my heart, but having her with me full-time made my emotions churn with a mixture of bitterness and resentment. I was angry with my son, with his girlfriend, with the government system we were stuck in, and sometimes, even with this darling baby girl. That was when I decided it was time to go to Al‑Anon.
I would like to say serenity and happiness came over me the first time I read Step One. It did not, but that room filled with people at different stages of similar journeys brought me into a community that helped me eventually get there.
Step One became part of my DNA only after reading, listening, talking, and listening some more. I grasped the second part of the sentence first: full realization that my life had become unmanageable. I asked myself why. The answer was easy: because of alcohol. Then the first part of the sentence finally made sense to me: I am powerless over alcohol, but not over my life, my actions, or myself.
Once I unlocked the power of Step One, I could move on to the next Step, then the next, and so on. Step One began the journey that brought back my sanity. From there I learned to set up boundaries, to “Let Go and Let God,” and to detach with love. I have rediscovered happiness, joy, and a renewed sense of self. I owe my happiness and my granddaughter’s to Step One, and the doorway to all that Al‑Anon offers.
By Suzanne W., Texas
Forum May 2016
I too have found myself angry and resentful for 2 decades. My daughter is an alcoholic/drug addict. The kids fathers are the same. They do not help me financially. I raised the oldest who is now 20, and I’ve had her siblings over 7 years. I am in a great amount of physical pain daily, but I have to work. I have helped my daughter so much it has caused financial strain. I am an enabler. I refused this last time to go get her, and she’s angry. She will go to a shelter because she disrespects my home and… Read more »
I’m In a very Similar situation. My daughter is addicted to drugs. We are in a safety plan with CPS. Her and her newborn babie tested positive for methamphetamines. She has 4 children 15, 7, 4 and 6 weeks. I am disabled. I have intractable pain. It is a nightmare. My daughter constantly manipulates me. She or the children’s fathers provide no financial support. Our CPS caseworker is no help. I am constantly angry and stressed beyond belief. The children are caught in the middle. We are on the verge of being homeless. The electric will be shut off any… Read more »
Coming full circle…..like my mother my youngest daughter is an alcoholic. She has three children ranging in age from 5-14. I was raised by my aunt while my sister stayed with my mother got into drugs and had her two kids adopted by my mom.
I am not in a position to take my grand kids but need to get them away from this situation now.
I don’t know what to do, I’m a grandmother of two boys, my daughter is an alcoholic after 16 yrs of living in an abusive relationship. Her partner stubs cigarettes on her but she won’t leave, feel helpless. Don’t know what to say or do anymore.
I was at Safe Refugee in tears visiting my daughter’s boyfriend to show him support. He has 17 more days to complete the program. My daughter was a part of the program but was kicked out for constantly not following the rules….one of the staff gave me the info about Al-Anon after I was in tears and frustrated that my child is still messing up. I was so happy to see I can communicate online since my schedule is so busy.