Finally, I Was Home

My son was an alcoholic who had lost seven jobs in six years. I worried about him from the time I woke up until restless sleep overtook me. One night at about 2 am, I saw an ad that asked, “Does someone else’s drinking affect you?” I felt electrified. When I made my way to my first Al‑Anon meeting, in the darkness I saw a welcoming sign—“Al‑Anon meeting at 8pm.” The people there made me feel at home; they did not judge me. When the time came for sharing, I was amazed. They were speaking my story! I felt that a huge load was lifted off my shoulders. I liked the fact that everyone there was a real person who faced the problem of alcoholism with courage and dignity. I felt supported and cared for, and I have been back every week since then. What a wonderful, life-saving program. Finally, I was home.

By Joe T., Ontario

The Forum, November 2018

2018-10-31T17:09:41+00:00October 31, 2018|Categories: Alcoholic Child, The Forum|

9 Comments

  1. Bob January 2019 at 2:27 pm

    My youngest son is 38. He is an alcoholic and drug addict. He is not in any program. He currently lives with his girlfriend who I believe has alcohol issue too,. He is on welfare, does not work and is in an adult education course.
    Because of Alanon, the Steps,my Sponsor and a belief as shaky as it is sometimes in my Higher Power, I have been able to detach with love.
    (DETACH. Don’t Even Think About Changing Him/Her)
    I have accepted him as he is and have put the focus on me and my life.
    I try one day at a time to do the next right thing in all my affairs.

  2. Karen RN January 2019 at 6:21 pm

    My son is an alcoholic who just went into treatment voluntarily after a family intervention. We knew he was struggling with alcohol due to his behaviors, but we did not know the extent it was affecting him physically (high ammonia levels and low magnesium, and high blood pressure) and he had to be medically detoxed and treated at the hospital before he could start Recovery. He gets out in 10 days – he’s been evicted from his home and has nowhere to go at this point. We as a family are trying to do the right thing for him – to help him succeed and yet not to be codependent. He has 50/50 custody of his two small girls and they are his inspiration to be well. I know the statistics are against us but we can’t be without hope. This is his first attempt with Recovery. Wish us luck…..

  3. Mary M. December 2018 at 3:50 am

    I’m so exhausted by this disease. My daughter has struggled with alcoholism for years. She now lives with me. I am fearful for her and often fearful of her. Alcoholism is killing us both. My only respite is Al-Anon. I wouldn’t have any sanity without this group and the knowledge, support, love and friendship I have found there. My other friends and family have lots of opinion and advice but they just don’t understand.

  4. Anonymous December 2018 at 10:36 am

    We had told our 40 year old son that we would continue to pay his rent if he did the recommended rehab program and doctors appointments to treat his depression and bipolar. Sadly he left the rehab program after three days. I think we have to follow through on not paying his rent anymore. I’m afraid he will use this as an excuse to commit suicide…

  5. Anonymous December 2018 at 1:38 pm

    My adult son is an alcoholic. I am lost, numb, scared, broken and a prisoner to his addiction. I am a prisoner to my phone – always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  6. Lynda S. November 2018 at 2:41 pm

    I just started Al-Anon, my daughter, who is 30, texts me when she wants something, makes me feel bad and blames me for everything when things go wrong. She lives by herself in her own apartment. She works a full time job and pays her own bills. My question is, is it ok to say “no, I’m not going to spend time with you today”. I’m afraid she will hurt herself. She is always telling me how depressed and sad she is, crying every night. How far do I go to help her out? Then other days it is “don’t contact me.” I am so confused about helping.

  7. Deidre November 2018 at 10:07 am

    My son is an alcoholic and uses alcohol to mask anxiety and depression. He was in the hospital for 10 days and he is now in intensive outpatient care. I could not sleep at night as I would wake up crying and very restless because I am so worried about him. I decided I need to take care of myself after getting into a bad argument with my new boss! I realized my home life was starting to really affect me too. I am in counseling myself and my doctor prescribed meds for my anxiety. She wants me to find a local al-anon meeting in my area, so, I am on the hunt for one. I have tried to hold it together for so long and I feel like I was going to fall apart. I am going to take care of myself.

  8. Deb November 2018 at 4:26 am

    As I have heard in an Alanon meeting the 5Gs: Get off their back, get out of their way, go to a meeting, get into yourself, give him to God. I gotta remember this often!

  9. Anonymous November 2018 at 8:31 am

    i have heard about this . and i have read your post .and i understand fully as i am going through the same thing my son is a alcoholic. and had been in recovery for 4 weeks now . i am struggling now. hes gone in before i was holing it together .trying to make him better but realise now i could not help him ..

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