I Don’t Have To Participate in the Drama

I could have written a novel about what alcoholism and addiction did to me and those around me, but today my novel would be completely different. Working the Al‑Anon program helped me move past the anger, bitterness and lack of healthy family experiences that came with growing up with an alcoholic. It also helped me face the effects of leaving home very young to create my own chaotic marriage and eventual divorce from an alcoholic/addict.

Al‑Anon opened my eyes to a sunnier, happier life. I learned that I am in control of my own life, thoughts and behaviors. I could no longer blame the past, my dad, my ex or others for my choices. Today, I have a choice to smile and welcome the sunshine of healing into my life. I have a choice to pick up the phone and call a trusted Al‑Anon friend when I’m feeling blue. I have the choice to go to a meeting and embrace the warm hugs and healing sharing. Alcoholism is still causing chaos in our blended family, but I don’t have to participate in the drama. I am so thankful for all the healthy changes in my life. I found a wonderful friend in Al‑Anon—me.

Daisy P., California

2017-08-10T15:32:08+00:00 August 1, 2017|Categories: Alcoholic Parent, Alcoholic Spouse or Partner, The Forum|2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Patricia August 2017 at 7:47 pm

    I can only tell you what I told my daughter, “if any man puts his hands on you in a physical way, get out of there, and don’t go back”. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents, where my dad would drink and go into a rage, beating my mother and sometimes we children. I have zero-tolerance for violence against another human being. The program says that we “cannot change another person”, and that “we need to take care of ourselves”. Please try and keep these two principles in your heart and mind. You are WORTH MORE than being beaten by a drunk.

    Contacting someone to give advice to your boyfriend is not your responsibility. Your boyfriend’s problems belong to him and God. One of the most freeing things I have learned about alcoholism in this program is the phrase: “I didn’t cause it, I can’t cure it, and I cannot control it”. Try to get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting if possible and begin your recovery. It is a wonderful experience to meet those who have had your problems.

  2. Heather August 2017 at 9:02 pm

    I am currently going through a bad break up with my alcoholic boyfriend. My boyfriend has had a drinking problem since I met him, but became increasingly worse over the last few months. I had stopped drinking with him as I felt I was enabling him, in return he stopped wanting to be around me which adventualy lead to him to cheat on me. I love him with everything I have to love anyone with but last night his alcoholism turned to rage, and then he became physical with me . I know I have to leave him sometimes love isn’t enough ( I never understood that till now). Does anyone have any advice for me? I have contacted a friend of his who is a recovering alcoholic with years of sobriety under his belt to try and give him some advice.

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