National Director talks about the effects parent’s drinking has on children

An interview with Jerry Moe, National Director of Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. Jerry speaks about the effects of a parent’s, or other loved one’s, drinking on their children.

How to locate an Alateen meeting

2017-08-02T13:25:58+00:00 September 29, 2015|Categories: Alcoholic Parent, Grandchildren, Professionals|

4 Comments

  1. Elizabeth F February 2017 at 9:30 am

    Helpful info.

  2. Tricia September 2016 at 2:05 am

    The best thing I ever did for myself, my children & in the end for my alcoholic was to go to Al-Anon.
    I had no idea how this disease had affected me & my children. I could see what it was doing to my lovely husband but I couldn’t see what it had done to me & when I had no where else to turn, I found the Al-Anon Family Groups in my local town!!

    I knew of AA, or at least had heard of it & I had heard of Al-Anon 5 years before I got here but when I was ‘sick & tired’ of being ‘sick & tired’ I made it to my first meeting!!

    What an awakening!!

    I thought I knew everything only to find out that I knew nothing about this disease of alcoholism, how it affected the alcoholic (or problem drinker until he was ready to face it himself) & the effects it has on the people around them!!
    I made a commitment to take care of myself by going week after week to meetings, against all pressures & persuasions not to!! It had taken a long time to get to that stage in my life & I was told it would take ‘time’ to get well & heal, hence the commitment.

    I have learned so much & it has changed my life. I think the greatest thing was that there is always ‘hope’ & it’s never too late to change.

  3. Mary December 2015 at 5:02 pm

    The one thing I needed the most when I came into the rooms of Al-Anon was to know that I was not alone and there is hope. When we know better we do better, and it is all one day at a time. Keep coming back. I am a child of an alcoholic, a sister, & the friend of many alcoholics, and today I just keep doing the next right thing, even if it’s to get a glass of water.

  4. Alice October 2015 at 11:50 am

    I’m an adult child of an alcoholic, married to an alcoholic, the mother of an alcoholic daughter, and a grandmother. I listened to the interview with great interest because I feel so helpless watching the cycle of drinking go on and on in my family.

    I’ve beaten myself up about all the things I think I’ve done wrong and should have done to protect my children from my husband’s drinking. Even though the good news is that he stopped drinking, he is still in a lot of ways like the same person that he was when he was drinking. But he and I are both heartbroken that our daughter is alcoholic in spite of the example my husband set of not drinking.

    We both tried to be better parents once the drinking stopped, but I feel guilty that the damage was already done. Our daughter has a college education but prefers to be a supermarket clerk. How convenient, the store sells wine and beer! She married and is divorced. Guess what, her husband is alcoholic and addicted to drugs. They have two children. I know it isn’t easy being a single parent and my husband and I try to pick up the slack. But the more we do (babysitting, helping with the mortgage payment, buying school clothes, shoes, paying for the kids’ braces and camps), the more she expects of us and the less she does. I can understand being overwhelmed by working and being a mother, but my husband and I are stressed out too. Her response is to drink at her situation. It is hard to believe how irresponsible she is.

    I want to protect our grandchildren and keep thinking that surely there are things I can do differently. I feel like a failure with my daughter, but this interview helps me so much to know what steps I can take. The kids know their mother is a drunk. I can’t hide that from them, but this interview gave me ideas for how we can all cope with this.

    The biggest mistake I made was not going to Al-Anon and if my husband wants to come with me, that would be great, but I am going no matter what. If there is an Alateen group, I can take the grandkids so that the kids see they are not alone, get some hope from other teens in the same situations. I’d like the grandkids to go to counseling, but my fear is that the counselors will report the kids’ situation to protective services. At least Alateen would be a good start for them. I hope I meet other grandparents or parents in Al-Anon. This interview is giving me a fresh start.

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