Welcome to First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
Today we have Jenny with us. Jenny is an Al-Anon member who grew up in an alcoholic family.
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My heart is broken. Alcoholic partner of 10 years dumped me coldly. He was having an affair and is with her now. They seem really happy. i just don’t understand his behaviour. I found a letter he wrote me a month before he left saying he never loved any woman but me, if we ever broke up he would die. A month later he was gone and has since refused any contact with me. He can’t even look at me when we meet and is drinking with her in my local pub. Has he not hurt me enough. This is… Read more »
I grew up with an alcoholic mother. I am now 34 with a dauhgter of my own. I find myself through loving my daugther, making up for the lack of love I received from my mother. She was and is emotionally abusive towards me. What’s funny is that she is now going through hard times and has no one to turn to for help but me. I look at my baby girl and wonder what would she think of me if I didn’t step up and help my mother? I know it’s wrong because I am driven by guilt. I… Read more »
A phone call to my mother 6 hours ago has taken me back to the 13-year-old girl I used to be. I believe my mom has been an alcoholic most of my life. Just before I turned 13, my parents split up. I lived with my mom and became aware of the alcoholic she was. Coming home from school, I’d find my mom passed out on the bathroom floor. I would find her alcohol stashed away in the closet and I would dump it out. We would fight, we would cry. I always forgave her. She would get better, then… Read more »
I grew up in an alcoholic home. From the time I was four years old to 19 years old, my mom was the alcoholic. There was plenty of drama in my house growing up. I always thought that I had grown up fast. In high school, I tried to compensate for what went on at home by being the best student, seeking praise and approval through my grades and sports, maybe thinking it would make it all better. Don’t get me wrong, my parents were great parents. They were there for me, provided, loved me, spent time with me. I… Read more »
Well, I’ve been reading all those stories and crying for a good part of it. I grew up with an alcoholic mom and my partner (of >10 years) has been drinking more and more over the last few years. At first it was somewhat controled, it never affected her work, our relationship or our social life. In the last year, things have changed and she has been drinking heavily to the point where she is putting everything in jeopardy. It took me a long time to admit she had a drinking problem, but I recognize it now. We are seeing… Read more »
There are many things going on in my life right now that I don’t have control over. I know I’m not doing the best to take care of myself. My father had a drinking problem and I’m wondering if even though he has been dead for 10 years, that might have influenced me. Two of my closest girlfriends have just had husbands that joined AA and I am a bit scared right now. I have these feeings at work that “I’m not good enough” and I feel that because I’m not living with an alcoholic that I don’t ‘deserve’ Al-Anon.
I feel hopeless.
I am so glad I listened to this pod cast. It really helped me see why my therapist suggested I attend these meetings. I have been told several times by various therapists but I didn’t listen, but listening to these pod casts and reading I am seeing a lot of me. I never realized that living in a home with an alcoholic father that it was going to shape my life for the next 30-40 years like it did. When I got married I had dreams of a perfect life, thinking I was escaping it through marriage, but I really… Read more »
Thank you for being here. I grew up in a family with multiple dually-diagnosed members (mental illness and substance abuse) . As a young person I attended Alateen, and later during a romantic relationship I attended Al-Anon (about 17 years ago), but have not attended in some time. I have made a concerted effort to keep people with substance abuse issues out of the center of my emotional life. Last night, it became clear that my new (<2yrs.) partner is in fact an alcoholic. I had pretty well come to that conclusion previously, but last night confirmed it to the… Read more »
A co-worker called me this evening and said she was considering finding an Al-Anon meeting to go to. Her husband is a drinker who gets abusive physically. I am so glad she is going to try, and I told her that I would go with her if she wanted me to, so she would not have to first go alone. I just wish I had known of one in my growing-up time because I came from a broken home, due to both parents and then a stepfather, all alcoholics. I was even spanked one time when I was young for… Read more »
My husband has been binge drinking on the weekends. I have 2 children, 16 and 14 years old. His drinking affects me. I feel so angry towards him and resentful, which is so unhealthy for me. I keep fighting with him about his drinking and he says he won’t give it up. He even went to counseling and so did I. He just does not see how all this affects me. He has done crazy things and has had blackouts. I just feel I am the one cleaning up his mess. I feel so alone. I have just started going… Read more »
I am also the adult child of an alcoholic father. I can identify in so many ways. I have also suffered with depression, sort counselling and even trained as a counsellor in an attempt, I think, to understand why I had so many problems. I have been attending Al-Anon for a while now and I can honestly say it has saved my sanity. It does take courage to walk through those doors to a meeting, but I see it as the first step to becoming the person God intended. I have been able to talk without being judged and I… Read more »
I am 45 and just now getting told that my life as I lived it was normal to the way I was taught by my father. He was an alcoholic who beat my mother and subjected all of us children to the way we are now. I have always said all I want is a normal and happy life. Well, little did I know I was leading a normal life for the child of an alcoholic. With my eyes now open to this, I see why I feel like I am stuck in life. I need to start meetings so… Read more »
My mom also was (is?) an alcoholic and also got drunk off of red wine every night. I never ran away, but at 18 left immediately to move away and start college. She wants to have a good relationship with me, but although I think I’ve forgiven some of what she’s done, I can’t forget it. She’s currently 54, and not drinking as much, but I’m still having a hard time building a relationship with her. I began going to Al-Anon meetings as an undergrad, but stopped going once others couldn’t always go with me. I was too embarrassed. I… Read more »
I am seeking to attend Al-Anon meetings. I need insights and not sure if this is the right way to go about it. Also, sorry, it’s such a long story. I am 61 yrs old, had an alcoholic father who although he quit drinking the last five years of his life, died at 69 because of his drinking and toasted lifestyle. My childhood was fraught with drunken weekly/daily scenes. My mother stuck by him until he coldly left her for another woman when I was 18. At 38 yrs old I thought I had finally found a good man and… Read more »
I grew up realizing that my mother was an alcoholic. And today I feel the need to reach out to teens and others who are going through similar situations. I know how hard it can be sometimes. My mother drank every day, into every night, until she would pass out. Her drink of choice was wine (I hate wine). I hated the sound of the cork every 20 minutes. I hated the sound of the freezer door opening and her reaching in trying to pick out ice cubes. I hated the sound of her mumbling because she couldn’t get the… Read more »
I’ve been in counseling for the past two years, and have been in and out of therapy since I was 16. I’ve never really understood where all of my issues come from, until tonight when I was watching an episode of “Supernanny” and saw the address for Al-Anon, and decided to check it out. My father is and has been an alcoholic. He’s always been a drinker, ran a bar for 25 years, and his drinking fluctuates, depending on his level of depression. None of this is diagnosed. He refuses to admit that there’s a problem, refuses to accept the… Read more »
I grew up with an alcoholic father and now am living with the absolute love of my life. He is also an alcoholic and it breaks my heart every time he takes a drink. He is totally unable to stop once he has started and the sadness I feel when he is collapsed on the sofa is overwhelming. I started going to Al-Anon a month ago, and although I am not strong enough to even try and attempt Step 1 yet, the people there are the nicest, warmest, most genuine people I have ever met. Although I seem to cry… Read more »
Hi. My name is Jamie and I grew up with an alcoholic father. After my mother died when I was 14, he started drinking heavier. He would come home and beat me up for nothing. I have never understood what I did to make him be that way. I took over my mother’s position in the household. I did cooking, cleaning, took care of my brother, and did everything possible. But he still would come home and hit me. Mostly when he drank liquor. It was awful.
Hi, I’m katlyn. I’m thirteen years old and my dad is an alcoholic. He has been drinking ever since I was four years old. I beg him to stop every day, but he just won’t. We always argue and I think it’s because of his drinking. But he thinks it’s my attitude. His father was an alcoholic and so was my mom’s mom. My mother and father argue a lot about his drinking and they want a divorce, but they stay together because of me. It feels like it’s my fault that my mom is miserable every day of my… Read more »