Welcome to “First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery” from Al-Anon Family Groups. This podcast will discuss a professional’s concern for families and friends who have been affected by a loved one’s drinking.
Dear Abby is with us today. Abby is also known as Jeanne Phillips, who writes the most popular and widely syndicated newspaper column, “Dear Abby.”
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I am new to on-line Al-Anon, although I have been a member for 20 years. My alcoholic is in the midst of a three-day binge and I just feel a need to vent. The fact that I know that I can come here and the power of that action in and of itself makes me feel better and more centered, and that is great relief. I love this organization and all the many wonderful people I have met.
I know that with the help of my higher power I will weather this and be stronger, and I thank you all for being there for me.
I used to read syndicated columns like Dear Abby as if they were a joke. People were so messed up and did such stupid things. And of course, things that readers wrote about never happened to me, because I was perfect and so was my marriage.
And then my husband’s social drinking became excessive. It was no longer just at occasional parties we attended, our once in a while “date night” dinner and a movie, or when friends came to our home. It was nightly bar drinking during the work week and all weekend long.
After about five years, I realized that columnists’ recommendations to go to Al-Anon were relevant to me. It took me a few weeks to call Al-Anon and a few more months to start attending meetings, because I was stubborn. I thought I could control my husband’s drinking. I tried being nice. I tried being nasty. Nothing worked. My life was crazy and my marriage was failing.
Even though my employer and my aunt were telling me about Al-Anon, I would never actually have called Al-Anon to speak to a member and get meeting information if I had not read a columnist’s response to a reader that particular day.
When newspaper columnists or reporters or, for that matter, radio and TV talk show hosts know about Al-Anon, they can help families of alcoholics to contact us and to inform the general public about our availability.
I appreciate these podcasts very much! I love my new “friends” at Al-Anon. I love having a place to share and to be supportive and to learn about how my changed behavior can bring me relief from not-rational fear and focus on the right kind of help. I am getting control over my feelings of (undeserved) guilt and shame.
Thanks so much!
My 30 yr old son, who is divorced and living with us, is drinking and I don’t know what else. He has lost his driving privileges and is unable to hold a steady job because he has impulsivity. I’m ready to throw him out, which is an emotional response of mine, but I know he has no means of surviving even if he were not drinking. I have another son who is on SSI for similar problems, but I can’t get this son to apply. His X, he says, will use that against him in regards to their son. So, as I write this, I hear the answer. I need to go to Al-Anon and let the rest fall into place.
As I age, I get concerned about this son. He has spurts of being ok, but they don’t last very long. I’d like to see him do better while I’m alive to be a back up, but I’m wondering if our supporting him has hindered him. Don’t know what to do, except the obvious first move for my self, getting to meetings.
Very good podcast – the advice given by Abby to seek help through Al-Anon & Alateen is very wise. When you walk through the doors of Al-Anon/Alateen, you are in a safe place where you can speak about your problem and listen to the sharing of others on how they used the program to help themselves recover from the effects of someone else’s drinking. You no longer feel isolated and alone. It’s a wonderful program. Thank you!