Day‑to‑day life in an alcoholic home – A husband’s story

Bryan, an anonymous Al‑Anon member, shares how his wife and son’s alcoholism controlled every aspect of his life until he found Al‑Anon.

In local and electronic Al‑Anon meetings, members learn to take control of their lives by setting boundaries and detaching from their loved one’s alcohol addiction. If your life seems to be spinning out of control because of a loved one’s drinking, consider visiting a few Al‑Anon meetings.

Al‑Anon groups generally meet weekly for about an hour and there is no cost to attend. Our meetings are anonymous, which means that no one will tell anyone that you were there nor will they repeat what was said by anyone during the meeting.

To find out more about what happens in Al‑Anon meetings, take a look at our FAQs

This interview was recorded at the 2018 Al‑Anon International Convention in Baltimore, Maryland, USA. Members were asked to share about various aspects of the Al‑Anon program and their personal experience.

Members’ anonymity is protected so that they can share openly and honestly about their experience with a loved one’s drinking and with the Al‑Anon program.

The opinions expressed in this video were strictly those of the person who gave them.

If your life seems to be spinning out of control because of a loved one’s drinking, consider visiting a few Al‑Anon meetings.

Video Transcript

Day-to-day life in an alcoholic home – A husband’s story

Interviewer: Bryan, can you share with us how the family disease of alcoholism affected your family’s day‑to‑day routines, and how Al‑Anon helped?

Bryan: Well, when I got into Al‑Anon, my life was unmanageable. Our home was in chaos. I had a felony—my son had a felony warrant; he was living downstairs with his girlfriend. I was at work. I was superintendent on a construction high rise. I’ve got 500 guys that were working out of a 42‑story building and a phone call might come—”Bryan, your wife is in the hospital.” And these were the types of things that were running through the day‑to‑day life. And in the program, or in Al‑Anon, when I got to the meetings—the Al‑Anon meetings, they began to share with me things about setting boundaries and bringing a home that was safe—and how important that was. They told me that if you don’t want to be a walking mat, get off the floor. And my life was being run by the disease and the actions of others and it was just chasing them like the wind from one place to the next. So, our home didn’t have a routine—the routine was chaos. The routine was insanity, and that became normal in our home, until Al‑Anon. And once I began to work the Steps and to reach out—we were a secret; our home was a secret. This was something that I had guarded and in Al‑Anon I got the opportunity to talk about what was really happening with people who understood. Who had gone through similar things, except they were happy.

Interviewer: Wow, yeah.

Bryan: Yeah, that power began to change my life in Al‑Anon.