Concept Two
The Al‑Anon Family Groups have delegated complete administrative and operational authority to their Conference and its service arms.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Concept 2. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Concept Two’s essence is about delegating. Handing over responsibilities to others is a concept that was not part of my life before coming to Al-Anon. I rarely delegated anything, as I liked to control, manage, direct, etc. anything that gave me a sense of importance. Today, I realise that this was a false sense of importance and that, in the process, I was creating havoc and discomfort for people around me. I was also often overly tired by doing so much and this brought about anger and resentment toward others.
In service, I learned the grace of delegating. I learned to appreciate the part that others could play in the project at hand, while learning greatly from each person participating. Giving others some responsibilities, so they could be part of all that was accomplished, made me humble and grateful. Furthermore, the end results were often beyond what I had expected, because of the diversity brougth to the task.
As stated in the book A Little Time for Myself, on page 321, Concept Two has taught me to discover the joy of mutual trust and the importance of shared responsibility. Those are among the precious gifts I have received from practicing Concept Two. I know today that I am not the only one who is capable of being trusted, reliable, and dependanble. Thank you, Concept Two, because applying it into my life I am a better member of this great fellowship and a more pleasant person to be around.
Concept Two talks about delegating, something I had a hard time to do when coming to Al-Anon. I was somewhat self-righteous, and trusting others was a problem for me. It is in service, early in the program, that I started to understand the importance of delegating and also having trust in the potential of others.
I understood that by sharing the task at hand more could be accomplished and in a shorter time. I also realised that when delegating there is a lot to be learned from others, as we are all unique and come with different ways to do things. I know now that not being overly responsible gives me more time to do what I need, want, or like to do. I can also take better care of myself by running myself so tired. I am also able to enjoy life much better.
I often have to put my Higher Power in the middle of it, as it is not always so clear to me what belongs to me and what belongs to others. I also have to ask Him to help me keep my hands off what has been delegated to others. I use the slogans: “Let Go and Let God” and “Live and Let Live” to better put Concept Two into action. iI works much better when God is in charge!!!!!!
Concept Two addresses one of the greatest hurdle I had in my recovery: “trusting others”. It was difficult for me to delegate tasks to others as I didn’t trust that they could do what was required and, most of all, that they would not to it correctly or as I would like it to be done. I was not good with dialogues either. I had many stumbling blocks and no stepping stones!!
When I got into service, I realised that Concept Two was a tool used to better serve our fellowship. I slowly learned that dialogue was a two-way street and that delegating responsibilities was something someone does when trusting others. It was a process with trials and tribulations, but as I got into it I started to appreciate the great benefits of sharing. Although, I might have seen myself as a doer, but nothing could compare to what could be accomplished when we delegate and look with great satisfaction at the results brought about by all the people engaged in the success of the project.
In working Concept Two, I also had to “Listen and Learn”, which was not my forte at the beginning. I had to work to give the needed attention to what others were saying and to zip it up!! Today, I greatly appreciate the helpful lessons learned from others and I also recognize the importance of trust, delegating and sharing. I have learned important lessons through applying Concept Two and for that I am grateful.
Concept Two that talks about delegating rubbed me the wrong way when I first came to the program. To me delegating meant that I had to trust others and this was scary for me. My trust had been tested many times in my life and, it was a very low point when I came to the fellowship. Delegating meant that I had to give to somebody else part of the job, that I considered being responsible for. To do so, I had to trust. I had my doubts as to the potential of other people to do the job well and to bring it to the expected results. I also had control issues mixed with a high level perfectionism. The barriers were many and not easy to get by.
It is in service that this principle of delegating started to take form in my mind. I saw delegating in action and I came to believe that it was possible and even beneficial to do so. Still today, it is not always easy to let go of the reins and believe that somebody else could do just as well as I could!!! However, it has been proven over and over again that sharing the task and benefitting from others’ talents, ideas, skills, etc. bring better results. Somehow the job always gets done!!
My Higher Power has been with me all along, nudging me in the right direction. Over the years He had made me aware of the importance of delegating and of enjoying the work done with others in humility and harmony. Thank you to Concept Two for giving me the gift of trust in others and believe that it will be OK!!
I have the kind of job where I can do an infinite amount of work and it still won’t feel like I made a dent. The only option is progress, not perfection. And yet sometimes my perfectionism still wins the day and I end up feeling like I’ve failed because I didn’t complete everything on my to do list.
Concept Two is a helpful, practical measure for me, because it talks about delegating tasks. Whenever I feel bad about not getting enough done, I don’t have to bear the “blame” alone. My higher power is also responsible, for everything I got done and everything I didn’t get to yet. Maybe my higher power is challenging me to delegate what I didn’t yet get done to myself in the future, to someone else, to no one, or even to my higher power itself! Feelings of being overwhelmed and scattered don’t have to feel like failure. I can take a page from Al-Anon groups’ delegation of responsibility and put my feet up for the evening.
I currently have an expanded definition of “delegating.” I am healing from an injury, and unable to perform many household tasks. When people assist me with my daily living, or when I ask for help, I am – in a sense, delegating responsibilities (authority) to them. This means I don’t criticize or evaluate their techniques and methods. The results are likely going to be very much the same – if the dishes are put away in the wrong place, so be it. Perhaps their way makes more sense than mine, and we’ve found a better place to put the plates. When I apply the slogan, “How Important Is It?” I create a space for common respect. They can freely do tasks in their own way and I am free from supervising. I am learning to accept outcomes with only gratitude.
With Concept Two, I am learning about delegating and being accountable. Prior to coming to Al-Anon, and even after my coming to the program, I had a false sense of those two very important principles of our fellowship. I thought that somehow I detained the truth, therefore there was no need to delegate or be accountable. After a while of listening, learning and recovering, I realized that I was completely off track. I knew that I couldn’t continue this way of being if I wanted to live in harmony with the members of my family, my fellow members or any other groups/people for that matter. I had to adapt to those principles, if I wanted to live with other people in a positive and productive way.
With time, I gradually learned how to delegate responsibilities and let them lay in the hands of the people responsible for them. I also learned to give each person the opportunity to explore their own ideas and to express them in ways that were theirs. I became accountable for my side of the street and let others be responsible for theirs. All of this had to be done with trust and respect and I learned to do so.
Thanks to the love and understanding of the people who crossed my path over the years, Concept Two gradually took its true sense for me. I am experiencing everyday the precious gifts of mutual trust, peaceful and productive dialogues and shared responsibilities and for those gifts I am truly grateful.
Concept Two talks about delegating, sharing responsibilities and assuming accountability,when a task has to be done. I must say that delegating was not on my radar, when I came to Al-Anon. Prior to understanding the benefits of this Concept,I made sure everything was up to par and under control, me being the only person responsible for everything. With time, the gift of delegating became clear , when I understood that giving the chance to others to share a task, without my interfering, was alright and even better. I had trust issues and I had to learn to trust that others had the abilities to do things, as well as me and even better. I know now, that what each one of us has to do should be well defined and that each one of us has to be responsible and accountable for the part of the task we are assigned. It is amazing what I learned and discovered through Concept Two. I learned that other people have talents, potential, etc., that I could not even imagine and that together we do a better job, if each one of us do what he/she is assigned to do.
To share responsibilities and take accountability for only my part of the deal, I had and still have to ask my Higher Power to guide me in the process. As a result, I am trying to put Concept Two, in my life when needed, and the results in all situations are the best I can hope for.