Concept Ten
Service responsibility is balanced by carefully defined service authority and double‑headed management is avoided.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Concept 10. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I like that Concept Ten guides me in the matter of responsibility. As a child I had almost no responsibilities, being an only child and my mom being at home all the time. My only responsibilities were making my bed and drying the dishes. However, when I became an adult, I went overboard with being responsible, not only in my life and at a job that required me to be very responsible, but I also mingled, more than necessary, in the lives of people around me. It is mainly in service that I understood the importance of creating a healthy… Read more »
Double headed management means there is my head and there is God’s head. I am working my program when I listen to God’s head.
I got to use this concept on my vacation. We were at an amusement park with my friend and her 7 year-old daughter, who I claim as a granddaughter. While my friend was on a ride without us, my granddaughter had a tantrum and stomped away into the crowd. I panicked because I had responsibility for this kid’s safety, but my authority wasn’t clear. Later, I had a good conversation with my friend about what responsibilities were. She also told her child that she had to listen to her grandpa. No one was bad, we just had to talk it… Read more »
Living in chaos and confusion was familiar to me for a good part of my life. I was on familiar ground and felt quite contented with it, as this is all I knew. When I came to Al-Anon and found some peace and quiet around me, I was disconcerted and ill at ease. I was not on comfortable ground and felt somewhat lost. However, peace and quiet came with time. It is in service, that I understood best why things were this way. It seemed that when I was asked to serve in a group, at the district level and… Read more »
Avoiding Double Headed Management. I can appreciate that. I once worked in an office environment which featured Double Headed Management. My actual boss was in a different city, and he and I shared a narrow focus within the organization (while covering a large geographical area). Simultaneously, I had a “dotted line” relationship to the local Manager. I don’t recommend this arrangement. This is not something to be found in Al-Anon – in part because we don’t have formal organization charts! (Tradition Nine.) Our leaders are Trusted Servants (Tradition Two), responding to the fellowship and the group conscience, not any “managers”… Read more »
Concept Ten helps me clarify-what is mine? What is not? I can do my job and let others do theirs, whether it is as simple as washing dishes my way or theirs, or as complicated as planning an online meeting. I know I get ruffled when someone asks me to do something and then tells me step by step how to do it, when I have another way that works. I try not to do that to another person. I can thank my Higher Power for being the single-headed management for me. If I follow HP’s direction, I go the… Read more »
Concept Ten helps me to understand what are my responsibilities and what belong to others.This was not easy to learn, as for years I took all the responsibilities on my shoulders. What inspires me in those days were factors of trust, control and fear that things might not get done. I was often compelled to do things in fear that they will not get done or not done the way and that I thought they should be. I also had high expectations, which was unrealistic and showing lack of respect for others. In the program, I learned that everything gets… Read more »
Each morning, I pray to the God of my understanding through writing to Him in a special journal. I don’t always know what to say to God. When I seem to be drawing a blank on what to pray for, CAL gives me a starting point. An example is this letter to God written when I was studying Concept Ten, “Service responsibility is balanced by carefully defined service authority and double-headed management is avoided.” Dear God – Today’s reading is about Concept Ten and how responsibility can be balanced with clearly defined authority. One of the greatest gifts I’ve received… Read more »