Concept One
The ultimate responsibility and authority for Al‑Anon world services belongs to the Al‑Anon groups.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Concept 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Responsibility and authority are often misplaced in families affected by alcoholism, as mentioned in our documentation. This has been very true in my life as a mother, as well as member of various organizations I was involved in. I had that false image of myself as being capable of resolving any situations and having answers to all that was on the table. It took me some time in the program and a certain time after being involved in service to understand what this Concept was suggesting. This Concept tells me to focus on what is my business. I have responsibilities… Read more »
“What are you laying down your life for?” This question startled me. I was new to the program. I stopped for a long time digesting the impact of that question. It wasn’t “Are you laying down your life for someone or something?” It was what. I really had to think about that and discovered that based on results, I was laying down my life for the disease of alcoholism. This was appalling to me. I decided that I would lay down my life for recovery and not for the disease any longer. It was this moment that, with the God… Read more »
Responsibility is something I didn’t learn in my family and had no true sense of authority either as I was living with dominance. The misplaced sense of what is brought forward in Concept One confused me. Concept One was definitely not acted upon in my home. As a young adult I continued this false representation of both responsibility and authority by going to excess with both. I felt responsible for the world around me and drove myself crazy in doing so. I also thought that being so responsible made me an authority in many areas and gave me authority over… Read more »
Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I was so confused. As I child I remember specifically thinking about ways I could get my mom to love me. But when I tried to take care of her she snapped at me. Nothing worked, what does a young mind do with that? As an adult I continued down that rabbit hole to bridge the gap between me and others, jumping in where ever I could. I learned in Al-Anon, my responsibility was in my circle of control only (what is going on in my own life, unless asked). Game changer, what? Practicing… Read more »
Raised in a home where all the responsibilities were my mother’s and all the authority needed in a home belonged to my father, I was left with neither one of them. I felt invisible and unimportant in regard to my family life. When I left home, I was determined to take back my life. It is through trials and errors that I learned. Being of excessive nature, I went all the way out and took all that was possible to take in what concerned responsibilities and authority. I came to believe that I was an authority in everything and I… Read more »
Recently one of my brothers who has tried Al-Anon but decided it wasn’t for him asked me why I keep going to meetings, especially since the primary alcoholic in my life has been sober for many years. The reading on Concept 1 in How Al-Anon Works (p.128) describes why I keep coming to Al-Anon: I need to be reminded on a regular basis that I am only responsible for myself and that is a full time job. ” [I] gradually learned[ed] to let go of [my] perception that [I was] ultimately responsible for other people, places, and things.”
I grew up with a warped sense of responsibility. I either took responsibility for stuff that was not mine, over-responsible, or I justified and blamed others for bad things that happened and did not see any of my own responsibility to the matter. Al-Anon has taught me that there is a middle way. I can detach and let others live their lives and not feel responsible for what they say or do. I can also practice the Tenth Step and make direct amends when I say of do something that was not necessary or kind. I’m not perfect and never… Read more »
Continuing with Concept One, understanding we are responsible for our part. We need to be accountable to our part in the relationship to ourselves and others. By keeping the focus on us. Let go of our perception that we are ultimately responsible for other people, places and things. Allow us to have dignity to respect ourselves. By Letting go.