Raised in a home where all the responsibilities were my mother’s and all the authority needed in a home belonged to my father, I was left with neither one of them. I felt invisible and unimportant in regard to my family life. When I left home, I was determined to take back my life. It is through trials and errors that I learned. Being of excessive nature, I went all the way out and took all that was possible to take in what concerned responsibilities and authority. I came to believe that I was an authority in everything and I… Read more »

Recently one of my brothers who has tried Al-Anon but decided it wasn’t for him asked me why I keep going to meetings, especially since the primary alcoholic in my life has been sober for many years. The reading on Concept 1 in How Al-Anon Works (p.128) describes why I keep coming to Al-Anon: I need to be reminded on a regular basis that I am only responsible for myself and that is a full time job. ” [I] gradually learned[ed] to let go of [my] perception that [I was] ultimately responsible for other people, places, and things.”

I grew up with a warped sense of responsibility. I either took responsibility for stuff that was not mine, over-responsible, or I justified and blamed others for bad things that happened and did not see any of my own responsibility to the matter. Al-Anon has taught me that there is a middle way. I can detach and let others live their lives and not feel responsible for what they say or do. I can also practice the Tenth Step and make direct amends when I say of do something that was not necessary or kind. I’m not perfect and never… Read more »

Continuing with Concept One, understanding we are responsible for our part. We need to be accountable to our part in the relationship to ourselves and others. By keeping the focus on us. Let go of our perception that we are ultimately responsible for other people, places and things. Allow us to have dignity to respect ourselves. By Letting go.