Because of my recovery in Al‑Anon, my relationship with my two children has greatly improved. My son is 11 years old and my daughter, nine. In the past, when they started kindergarten, I was overly protective of both. I worried about them all the time and hardly focused on myself.
I enabled my son and my daughter when it came to school and sports, but I had little patience for them at home. I would be frustrated a lot, I know now, because I was trying to control them and my alcoholic husband.
Since my recovery, I have more patience with my children. Instead of nagging him, I leave my son alone when he is doing his homework. I use the slogans, “Let Go and Let God,” or “How Important Is It?” and “Live and Let Live” during times when I’m losing my serenity and being a controlling mother.
I feel the best gifts I can give my children are the tools and knowledge I have learned in the Al‑Anon program. It’s funny how I didn’t notice in the past how wonderful my children really are—I just presumed they were incapable of doing anything on their own. Now I have faith they will grow up just fine.
Crystal V., Alberta
Hello, I just found this place. I was told to look into Al-Anon by a friend of mine who as well has a husband just like me who is an alcoholic. I did not know what this group would be helpful for until she explained why I needed to look into it. I feel as if now I am not alone.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I would never have labeled myself as a “controlling” mother, but I’m beginning to see that I seek control over everything in my life. I’m very new to Al-Anon, but I hope to find true healing here. Best of luck to you. Continue growing. 🙂
I feel some relief hearing someone else talk about losing their serenity. Immediately the tension in my limbs relaxed. I did not recognize I’d been carrying so much tension.
Thank you for sharing this – this sounds exactly like me. Reading this right now at this moment is really an eye opener for me. I will work on doing the same and will stop controlling everyone and everything around me – particularly my children.
I need someone to call my husband and remind him he has a weekend problem,its tearing the family apart.