Some people can remember the exact date they first came to an Al‑Anon meeting. I do not. I remember, though, the exact situation that caused me to follow through on actually walking into my first meeting. It was the day I had to drive my son to the center of town, tell him that he could no longer live at home, and drop him off. He seemed far more at ease with this than I felt. As I drove off, his parting look seemed to imply, “What took you so long?”
I was warmly welcomed to my first meeting and every meeting thereafter, yet I was always questioning whether I really belonged. Every time the meeting leader would ask if there were any newcomers, I would start to raise my hand, then tell myself, Stop! Don’t raise your hand. This is your fourth, twelfth, sixteenth meeting.
Honestly, it was only after I’d been to quite a few meetings that I finally listened closely and actually heard the final sentence of Tradition Three: “The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.” At that point, I was finally able to relax and feel that, yes, if that is all that is required, I actually do belong here, and this is the place for me.
I also learned how important it is to actually listen carefully to the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions each time they are read, as I never know when a Higher Power will allow me to hear something in a new way that will bring me closer to self-understanding and that slippery idea of serenity.
By Michael M.
The Forum, October 2024
*Published in The Forum under the title “I ‘Do’ Belong in Al-Anon”
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.