After 9/11, my partner’s drinking increased so much that I decided to go online to find out about staging an intervention. On the A.A. website, there was a questionnaire about a loved one’s drinking. After I scored my results, it suggested that I go to an Al-Anon meeting. I picked up the phone and found a meeting near me that started in an hour. I didn’t even think; I just got in my car and drove to the meeting.
There, I heard people share their stories, and there was a lot of laughter. I thought to myself, This is what I want. I wanted to be able to distance myself from all the pain I had chosen to own. The people at the meeting suggested I go to six meetings to see if Al-Anon was for me. I went to six meetings in six days, and it changed my life. I continued to go to no less than five meetings a week. It’s been almost 20 years now. Within six months I was able to work, focus on myself, sleep at night, and feel peace and serenity.
The Forum, May 2020
Being around violent alcoholics was a norm for me as being near them never helped after watching my mother get physically attacked by my natural father wasn’t easy but then graduating into family members that were drug addicts and alcoholics wasn’t easy either especially after losing a cousin within the last couple weeks. Al-Anon and other groups have literally saved me as a whole as I’ve been in Al-Anon 22 years and I’m grateful that I can serve for Al-Anon and AA when necessary without going to an AA meeting. When I started Al-Anon my mother was in the program… Read more »
My husband has been an alcoholic since 15. He started AA 3 weeks ago. He has become resentful about not drinking, lies about whereabouts, and has distanced himself from our family. Last night he came in at 4 am after getting off work at 4:30pm. Had county sheriff’s looking for him. He said I should have just went to bed and minded my business. He wanted to be free for a while and didn’t want to come home. He blamed me, saying I am not the wife he needs and I don’t love him or want him there. I was… Read more »
I’m still new in a relationship with an alcoholic. It’s been only 9 months. I didn’t realize he was an alcoholic until about 6 months in, by then I had developed very strong feelings for him. When I suspected, I flat out asked him and he told me no and not to worry. Several things started happening, he was planning his days around drinking, calling me early in the day so I wouldn’t hear his slurred speech, catching him in the local bar and when I mentioned it the next day, he had no memory of being there, passing out… Read more »
I’m still new in a relationship with an alcoholic. In the 10 months we have been together he has been hospitalized 4 times and is now having serious health complications. While I do love him I keep hearing I will never again …. and I love you too much to… I feel guilty for wanting to leave but I don’t want to add this self destructive lifestyle to my plate but I also don’t know how to stay and help him.
I attended an Al-Anon meeting a year ago, because my husband a functioning alcoholic attended an AA meeting which he has stopped going to and things are worse now, anyhow because he learned I am also an alcoholic because I guess I’m tolerant to his drinking and because my father is also an alcoholic. I don’t depend on alcohol, I do not have any drug addictions, but what I learned in Al-Anon is that I’m not responsible for his alcoholism. it’s not my fault at this point I don’t see any change nor do I know how to help him… Read more »
Please, for all those who feel trapped, hopeless or desperate, look online for your area Al-Anon webpage and look for (or call the contact number and get) information on local zoom meetings. We are still holding meetings, just virtually because of the pandemic, but help and relief is still available. Best wishes on your journey to recovery.
I am realizing I need to do this but am scared. My husband has always enjoyed beer but in the last 2 years his consumption has increased significantly. He has become a functional alcoholic. On his days off, he occasionally drinks in excess and is a sloppy drunk. I admit I nag. He told me he was going to stop June 1st. June first came and he had a beer. “I thought you quit.” He informed me that he was limiting it. Today, he was slurring his words and I hate it. “I thought you were cutting back.” His response… Read more »
This Covid has definitely flipped things upside down. I can only imagine how stressful taking full-time care of an adult child is, and to add a drinking spouse on top of that sounds impossible. I am just beginning to look for help in how to deal with my spouse’s demons, and I appreciate your honesty on how difficult the road is.
I need help. My husband a very successful finance executive retired 8 years ago he always liked to drink. (I was always worried because his father was an alcoholic and I saw how bad it was. Fortunately I have my mother-in-law a seasoned Al-Anon member. He just this week reached out to a center and has been on few zoom calls. We are happily married 37 years and have a wonderful life in Sarasota, Florida. The past few months his drinking (wine) started at seven am. He keeps bottle in garbage can under his desk. I have Al-Anon book read… Read more »
I need help I feel hopeless