I came to Al-Anon because of my daughter’s struggle with alcohol and prescription drugs. I thought Al-Anon would give me the answers to solve this problem for her. Instead, it has shown me how I have contributed to this situation by trying to fix, control, carry, hide, deny, and obsess over my daughter’s problems.
Attending Al-Anon meetings helped me look at myself and try to figure out how I developed these patterns. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and all my life, I have heard from my mother how awful it was. I can see control, negativity, pessimism, anxiousness, and perfectionism in my mother. I now realize she adopted these traits to cope with her upbringing.
I am beginning to understand how this has affected me and shaped who I am today. I have struggled with anxiety and depression; I am hard on myself and set unrealistically high expectations for myself. I can see now how my traits have affected my daughter. I am starting to put all the pieces together, and I recognize this is a multigenerational disease.
By Lisa I.
The Forum, February 2026
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