When I started going to meetings, I didn’t know what made all of you so happy and content, but I wanted to feel that way. I kept coming back and, without even realizing it, I started feeling the peace that I saw in all of you. But first I had to learn many things and make them part of my life. I had to learn to:
- Accept that I am not perfect and learn to forgive my mistakes.
- “Live and Let Live.”
- Stop worrying.
- Stop manipulating—I can ask for what I need.
- Believe that no one has the power to make me unhappy.
- Recognize the big difference between being assertive and being aggressive.
- Understand that being powerless doesn’t mean being helpless.
- Accept that being humble is not the same as being humiliated.
- Recognize the difference between offering support and enabling.
- Take care of myself, which is not selfish.
I learned that when I stop trying to tell my Higher Power how and when to do what I want, I get what I need. And I know that the thing I need the most is the serenity that the program has given me.
By Alicia D.
The Forum, November 2026
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.