Spiritual Principles
Please share your experiences by commenting on the topic below. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
This month we’re asking you to share your favorite Al‑Anon spiritual principle and why.
Every Step, Tradition, and Concept is its own spiritual awakening for me. I’m so grateful for the gifts of this program, but especially for the way that our Second Tradition reminds us that a loving God, expressed through our group conscience, is the sole authority for our groups. I have learned to be “right sized” in my sense of responsibility through practicing this program. My participation matters, and it is the key to harmony. But I am not in charge and no one in this program gives me responsibility without authority. The principle is humility – I am a beloved… Read more »
One of the spiritual principles that hit home with me right away (even though I didn’t think of it that way) was detachment (with love). I knew how to detach by giving the silent treatment, by ignoring the problem, by being a martyr. I learned that I could hate the disease but still love and respect the person. I learned that my actions were not doing one darn thing to the disease, but they were having a negative effect on myself and the alcoholic in my life. I think detachment with love comes hand in hand with awareness and acceptance.
Hey, I just need a meeting and am substituting by reading and sharing. Someone I respect says all problems are spiritual problems. Even as I type this I am comforted. Front and center is my neighbor with a horribly barking dog and loud home-during-pandemic business meetings that vibrate my bedroom. If it’s a spiritual problem, then it’s my problem. I need to hand this over. I have so much anger, I am afraid I will explode but the solution is in giving it to God and even thanking Him for the opportunity to grow. I think if/when I can come… Read more »
Spiritual healing starts with admitting that healing needs to take place. For so long I have coped by suppressing my feelings. I pretended as though there is no reason to be hurt or feel let down because I am separate, I am immune, I am seasoned and can take it all with stride. I didn’t realize how real or painful the memories are until I started participating in the Al-Aon blog. There is so much hurt inside that I had hidden away.
“Progress not perfection” I need to work my program “One Step at a Time.” And each step may have many smaller sub-steps. I don’t have to bet my entire bank roll in the poker game. All I need to do is ante up to participate. If the cards don’t turn out right on that hand, I may choose not to continue playing and wait for another game. If I can accept the fact that all outcomes are possible, then I need not have an expectation that things should turn out a certain way. I can take some comfort in the… Read more »
I will be forever grateful to the 11th Tradition of Al-Anon especially the part that states: “Our public relations policy is based on attraction and not promotion.” I know it was through the attraction of the Al-Anon program and not by promotion that I got the courage to walk into an Al-Anon meeting. I was raised in a home with alcoholism, my father was the alcoholic. But for the grace of God I didn’t marry an alcoholic. All my life I had been so angry and hated myself and didn’t know why. I had read every self-help book I could… Read more »
I heard someone say at a meeting that Step 11 could be practiced out of order. I decided to give it a try, so one morning I asked for the knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry it out. I didn’t hear an actual voice, but the answer was startlingly clear: “Well, dear, you just finished your shower. My will is for you to take that fluffy towel beside you and dry yourself off.” I was facing a confusing, painful day, but this was a task I knew I could manage. Whatever came later, my day had a… Read more »
The Principles are what we find in the Steps. Today I am focused on Step 4, and the growth this contains. I can concentrate on this and all the worries and fears I struggle with begin to fade as I focus on me. Takes much practice and I have to do this Step over and over….I think this is referred to as “taking my own inventory” and not taking others.
The Principles are all important to me and I can’t pick just one! For a few years now I have always wondered, aren’t the spiritual principles just the 12 steps? When I started working with sponsees I wanted to know more and feel more of what each Step was trying to convey. Through speakers, slicing and dicing the nouns and verbs in the Steps, and researching other venues, I found something that made sense to me – and that was to equate a meaningful word to each Step. Honesty: Step One. Hope: Step Two. Faith: Step Three. Courage: Step Four.… Read more »
For me, the crucial spiritual principles are: Trust God and love others, clean only my side of the street, be present, and be grateful. I’ve found if I apply even one of those spiritual principles to my day I have much more peace in my life.
My fallback, most important spiritual principle right now is honesty. If I am honest with myself about my desires and express them to others without concern for being right or wrong, and I do my best to say everything kindly, I find my day is rewarding and satisfying. If I do the same with my feelings and am able to be honest, first with myself and then with others once I’ve determined what my feeling may be, then I understand myself and that leads to being able to express my feelings to others. Oftentimes it becomes important for me to… Read more »
I’m moved to say Tradition 8, which is teaching me how to ask for help and to appreciate that we have no experts in Al-Anon, no professionals. A member may have more experience in the program, but someone brand new, or a prospective member, has experience to share that’s just as valid as anyone else. In the rooms it reinforces humility, and in life outside the rooms helps me weigh how to be fully self supporting (so also brings in Tradition 7) and invites me to ask for expertise, and also to provide it, in exchange for something material. I… Read more »
The spiritual principle I treasure today is gratitude. It began in the closing words, Take what you liked and leave the rest. From my dark hole of despair a little light was shinning. It may have been there all along. That simple little message helped me look up. Each day I came back for a little something shared to hold on to, then try out. Today, I seek the good and hold on to it alone, as my HP sees and holds the rest.
My favorite spiritual principle today is anonymity. There’s so much more to it than just maintaining privacy around my name. I learned this through my experience of submitting articles to The Forum. The first time one of my articles was published in The Forum, I was was filled with alternating feelings of anxiously hoping others see my name and congratulate me, and fear that they’d see my name and criticize me. Or worse, that they’d see my name and not care. The next time I submitted an article, I checked the box to publish anonymously. What a relief when it… Read more »
One of the spiritual principles I use daily is understanding. Understanding is the first principle I experienced in Al-Anon. I learned about it by listening to the suggested Al-Anon Welcome. We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. For the first time in my life I knew I was amongst people who understood me and what I was going through. They did not judge me nor tell me what to do. They simply shared their experience, strength and hope. I learned that alcoholism was a disease and I was powerless over… Read more »
Today, I am struggling with adhering to the principles. When in doubt I think about my will and trying to turn it over to my higher power. I am trying to be my best self. In the midst of living my life, I chose to make a decision that was what I wanted. When it affected my husband, all he saw was that I was not paying any attention to him and he got an attitude. Sadly, it was attitude I have experienced from him before. I do not want to take his inventory. For me? I am trying to… Read more »
For me, the Serenity Prayer is the cornerstone of my recovery. It encapsulates the first three steps. I have repeated it to myself often when dealing with my alcoholic/addict adult daughter. It has guided me as I strive to detach with love, get rid of unrealistic expectations, and not put up with outrageous behavior which has been both emotionally and financially costly. But it’s taken me years to stop trying to be my daughter’s higher power and to understand that I was enabling, rather than helping, But thanks to Al-Anon meetings and my Al-Anon sponsor I now have a sense… Read more »
My favorite spiritual principal comes from Step 3 “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” AND Step 11 “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” I believe I “made a decision” to turn my will over when I came to Al-Anon for the first time. I didn’t know at the time, that I was looking for a deeper relationship with the God… Read more »
The wording of Step 12, “Having had a spiritual awakening…” gives me the same sense as “BECAUSE we had a spiritual awakening…”. To me it seems to say that spiritual awakening MAKES US WANT to carry the message and apply the principles. This answers the question “How can I tell if I have had a spiritual awakening”? To the extent that we have had a spiritual awakening as the result of the first 11 Steps, we will find ourselves hungry to be of service, and thirsty to apply the principles in all our affairs. In this sense, Step 12 is… Read more »
Let Go and Let God is easy to say but hard to do. I practiced that slogan but found I often took my problem back “to work on.” My Higher Power was patiently frustrated with me, as I with Him, so when I suggested He do this or that He slapped my head down onto his shoulder and gently stroked my forehead as He rocked me to sleep, saying, “I can’t work on your problem unless you totally let me work on it in My time.” When I later woke up, I toodled on into my day’s activity, realizing in… Read more »