At my first Al‑Anon meeting, there were 20 women and no men, which confirmed to me that I was probably married to the only female alcoholic in the world. Yes—I was that angry, lonely, and tired. I thought, How could these nice ladies relate to my singular, unique burden? After several meetings with the same group, I realized that their understanding of my misery was spot on. Their experiences were like mine, and I came to see them as kindred spirits.
Today, the Al‑Anon fellowship is an integral part of my life. Service helps me grow in strength and sustains me through life’s challenges. I will never forget those women in my first meeting and will be eternally grateful for their guidance toward my eventual recovery and serenity.
By Anonymous
The Forum, June 2020
I have been with my husband for 16 years. He has always been a drinker. He has never held a job but I still loved him. I loved him so much, so so much. He lost one of his many jobs March 2019. His drinking has doubled if not tripled since. Now I can not stand the sight of him. I cringe when he touches me. I hate him. He is a nasty drunk. He drinks, passes out, wakes up, destroys the kitchen to make something to eat, drinks, passes out and repeat. He will do this as long as… Read more »
Wow this is tough i don’t know where to start. Been married to my wife for 24 years this November long hard 24. Knew she had a drinking problem then but both young in our 20s then thought it would pass by. She was a bartender at the time rolling in the $. Dealt with a lot of nights after she got home. Too much to list. Over the years attended a few AA meeting with her, she did some therapy but stopped at the liquor store right after I later found out. Problem is she is the best liar… Read more »
I’ve been married to my wife for 31 years. She is a wonderful person when she is not drinking. In 2002 she had gastric bypass for weight loss. She did really well with it. Approximately 3 years later both her parents died in the same year. She never drank prior to her bypass surgery or her parents deaths. She wasn’t able to grieve their passing and accept the loss. She started drinking 4 or 5 months after her father passed. After the surgery alcohol affects her like a IV drug. It gets absorbed immediately into her system and she becomes… Read more »
I’ve been with my husband for four years (married 1 1/2 years). At the beginning of the relationship, I made it clear that I didn’t want to be with someone who drank excessively or used illegal drugs. On our third date, he revealed that he was drunk and a little stoned on weed. I chose to continue seeing him because it didn’t seem like this was recurring behavior, and part of me appreciated that he was honest about it. What I didn’t see (or maybe chose not to see) until it was too late is that this is a daily… Read more »
When I met my boyfriend he was in the program and sober for 2 years. He explained it to me and I was okay with it. A little over a year into our relationship he started drinking again. I knew immediately this wasn’t good but didn’t know how difficult it would prove to be. Now 3 and a half years later I still love him so much but don’t know how to deal with his broken promises to quit. I get so angry and hurt by his drinking and try to control it so he doesn’t get hurt. I don’t… Read more »
I have been with my spouse going on 7 yrs, his drinking has caused so much physical, financial and emotional stress on me, he denies he has issues, gets angry, gets in my face tells me how much he hates me, belittles and yells at me. I’m beyond fed up. He drinks every night at least 10 beers. He’s bartender which makes worse bc he drinks before and after work, he drives drunk, yet gets away with it, got pulled over once or twice and got out of ticket bc family took care of it. Told him many times to… Read more »
I’ve been with my husband 22 years, married only for 6, together since I was 14 and he was 16. From what I can remember of our teenage years, he would drink on occasion, and then he turned 21, and he went all in. In 2012, he got himself his 2nd DUI, and I asked him to leave our home. We had 2 little girls at the time, and I was tired of the drinking, drugs, and infidelity that had been freshly discovered. He was away 4 months, when he returned in sobriety asking for reconciliation. His sobriety and transformation… Read more »
Hello everyone. I am tired of being scared of abuse and chaos. My alcoholic wife backslid after 25 years sober. She is gone again and warned me not to change the locks! She revealed an affair of 5 years or more with another drinker. 39 years married!! She is living with him and drinking. She chugs an entire bottle of wine, then shots of bourbon. Cocktail with self medicating psych meds. She knows the dangers. And I can tell when she lies. I just don’t address it. No blame or accusation will make a difference. I don’t fight and I… Read more »
Just seems hopeless. A disease with no cure. How is it ever legal? No idea what to do. Stuck with kids and he creates debt. Disaster life. Wish I’d never married. Anyone.
I just kicked out my husband last wed. Almost a week ago. He is at his parents and sees our 10 yr old almost every day. But with his mom and dad there. He is safe. I work two jobs during this covid. My husband hasn’t worked since before Nov 2019! He got fired from his last job because of his big mouth! He watched our son while I worked 10 hours then door dashed for 3-4 hours a night. I usually door dashed 4 to 5 times a week in addition to working full time job Monday thru Thurs.… Read more »
I am divorced from an alcoholic. I am wondering if […] it is more about a personality type- when you add alcohol to it- it is like adding fuel to the fire. So take away the alcohol and you still have a very very selfish personality. Not all cases of course-but most of what I have seen.
I feel like all the people who posted here. I have been married over 40 years to a man who’s drinking more and more. Alcohol was always a problem but I convinced myself off and on that it wasn’t too bad. Now he can down a bottle of wine in an hour and look for more. He slurs his words and can hardly walk. He already had a stroke and had AFIB and should not drink at all. He obeyed doctors for a year and then here we are. He now admits he is an alcoholic but he uses it… Read more »
I’m new to this group. I’m trying to be as supportive as possible for my boyfriend who quit drinking 8 months ago. I could use some support myself. It’s hard sometimes!
I’ve been married for 10 years. I almost divorced my wife a month ago because of her heavy drinking (Sun up to Sun down, every day). I was one day away from sending a lawyer my money then she came to me and asked for help. I found her a rehab center and she was on her way the next morning for 30 + days of rehab. She came back different. Bolder, a better sense of self worth and very clear about her boundaries. She was also embarrassed and didn’t want to see anyone. So for the last month she’s… Read more »
My ex-husband is an alcoholic. I took our child and left him 7 years ago. I thought he had his drinking under control. His girlfriend alerted me about him drinking again with our child in his care a month ago. I thought he was better once he got help but I was wrong. I’m so angry that this is still happening. I thought by leaving him I wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. At least I’m not being abused anymore, but I’m still re-living the trauma. When does it end?
I’ve been married for 21 years have two beautiful daughters. My husband has been drinking for awhile and it seems for the last 5-6 years it’s getting worse. I have asked him to stop drinking; his kids asked him to stop drinking but he says he does not have a drinking problem he’s just enjoying himself and he’s not doing anything wrong. Since all this COVID19 he drinks more now. Sometimes when he drinks he says really mean things to me and I use mean words too because I am getting fed up of living like this, my kids don’t… Read more »
My wife is currently in the ICU going through a rather miserable withdrawal process. We’ve been married 14 years and although I’ve always told her she was drinking too much wine, I was always met with a “stop judging me”. Now I wonder what life will be like once she wakes up. What do I do? How can I help her? Will she want help? Nothing like this has ever happened before. Hoping others in this group setting can relate.
I’ve been married to my alcoholic husband for 1 year now. He did some time in rehab, but is most definitely going backwards. He’s a good dad and a great person sober. He’s not a friendly drunk, he’s mean and very emotional. I cannot communicate my feelings or he gets angry and defensive. Ignoring him is all I know how to do to maintain some level of peace, but even that makes me miserable. I feel like I’m lying to myself and others when I say he’s doing better. I’m so lost and confused. I don’t know where to go… Read more »
Ive been married to an alcoholic for four years together for 8 years. He has been to 6 rehabs in the past 4 years. Each time he gets out, he starts drinking soon again and then when he gets another DUI months later its back to rehab. This weekend he became violent with me. I filed a domestic violence charge he was arrested Sat night. He should get out tomorrow IDK. I’m scared he will be violent again or just keep drinking nightly. IDK what to do. I feel guilty about filing the domestic violence charge although his behavior definitely… Read more »
I have a alcoholic husband as well, his preferred choice is whiskey every night. We have been separated for almost 4 months now. I can’t seem to get through to him, he’s become emotionally detached. I love him with all my heart. He says he loves me at times but then other times he has said he hated me and he blames me for having him move out. But it was his drinking and us constantly fighting and arguing and him blacking out that was responsible for all of this that has taken place! But all I can do is… Read more »