I hadn’t played tennis for many years but took it up again after my marriage to an alcoholic ended. Although I really enjoyed playing, I would often finish a game feeling angry and resentful toward my opponent. During our games, I concentrated so much on what was happening on her side of the court that I couldn’t even call a ball in or out on my own side. If my opponent miscalled a ball in her favor, I would play the martyr, say, “It’s okay,” and lose the point.
One day, while playing, my Higher Power suddenly showed me that my behavior in tennis mirrored my approach to life. I was quick to judge others and always watched for their mistakes, rather than focusing on what was happening on my side of the court: my boundaries, my responsibilities, and my attitudes.
Even if my tennis game hasn’t improved much, I now know how to focus on my side, watch my lines, and trust the other person’s call on her side of the court. I can now enjoy playing with a clearer mind. Applying these Al-Anon principles in all areas of my life has improved my relationships. I focus on my attitudes and decisions, take care of my boundaries, and allow others the freedom to make their choices without judgment.
By Fiona L.
The Forum, August 2026
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