I have heard in the program that if I am full of resentment, it’s time to look at myself. I became tired of feeling angry and victimized. I sat with my anger long enough to realize that it was grief. Grief feels like many life situations are happening at once, and I can’t catch my breath. In those moments, Al‑Anon helps me hang on. It makes me aware that I need to pause and spend time renewing my spiritual practices. In Al‑Anon, I have a Sponsor and others to help me find light in darkness.
Here are a few things I do when I am sitting in victimhood, martyrdom, or resentment: First, I make a daily gratitude list. Sometimes I stop everything and say out loud something I am grateful for, or I jot a few things down. Gratitude is an antidote to resentment, victimhood, and depression. Next, I turn to a Power greater than myself (Good Orderly Direction) by reading, meditating, journaling, and immersing myself in recovery. Sometimes, I pull out every program book I own or old journals from my decade in Al‑Anon and review them. Other times, I sit quietly until an insight comes across my soul. In these moments, I forgive myself and allow myself to heal and recover.
By Christina C.
The Forum, July 2026
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.