Years ago, I walked into Al-Anon. I had exhausted all my ideas and energy trying to defeat my husband’s alcoholism, which I considered a weakness of character. I tried to keep it a secret within our four walls. I lost courage when, to my chagrin, he publicly displayed uncontrolled drunken behavior. My daughter, a medical student, mentioned that if I needed help, I could find it in Al-Anon meetings. I hesitated, and the waiting period was unbearable.
Meanwhile, my husband gradually lost hope of achieving sobriety on his own. Following the advice of one of his sober friends, he checked himself into a rehab program. He didn’t last even two weeks. He begged to come home and then relapsed. That’s when I began attending Al‑Anon meetings. I got a Sponsor and persevered in applying the Steps and slogans. A lot of sleepless nights, tears, and worries continued, but eventually, I started to look at my husband with compassion, viewing him as a helpless person trapped in a bottle. I began to accept alcoholism as an illness. My brain fog started to clear. I found my Higher Power in the Al-Anon rooms and asked for guidance every day through every challenge.
I believe that changing my attitude and focusing on myself contributed to him finally finding sobriety. Today, I continue to attend Al-Anon meetings virtually as well as in person. Thanks to the worldwide fellowship, we are thriving!
By Anonymous
The Forum, May 2026
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.
Members of Al-Anon Family Groups have shared that many behaviors are a result of distorted thinking from the disease of alcoholism. This can happen when someone is under the influence of alcohol, and/or may persist while abstaining from alcohol. Behavioral changes may occur when treatment is in progress. Al-Anon members come to understand that not all behaviors are a result of alcoholism. Members share in meetings how they apply the Twelve Steps and principles to their own lives, helping to sort out deep feelings such as resentments, doubt, and confusion. We learn about the disease of alcoholism—how it affects the… Read more »
So what about after he quits drinking and still has behavior issues like narcissistic tendencies and control?
I am at my wits’ end and have tried everything I can think of. I need this group; I want my husband to get better.
This was me in 1992. Meetings saved my life! Today my life is calm, peaceful, and everything I learned in Al-Anon I still apply it to my life all these years later.