Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
The key word in this Step is “admitted.” We admit we are powerless over another person’s drinking and accept the fact that we cannot control another’s life. We are not responsible for the alcoholic’s behavior. We did not cause the drinking problem. We cannot expect to cure it, either.
At first we tend to blame the alcoholic for everything that is wrong in our family situation. In Alateen we learn that this is not necessarily fair. By worrying about family problems, trying to control the alcoholic’s actions, and taking on responsibilities that are not our own, our lives are often a mess. We’re upset, nervous, and can’t get our own work done. It’s even more tragic if we turn to stealing, taking drugs, getting drunk ourselves, running away from home, dropping out of school, or getting married to escape the problem. We want to be dependent on our parents for guidance and love, but independent and on our own at the same time. The difficulties of adolescence and the problems of the alcoholic family build up, and we begin to feel that life isn’t worth living. We don’t think there is much we can do to help ourselves or anyone else.
Alateen shows us the way to get our own lives in order. We start by accepting the fact that no one can help the alcoholic until he is ready. We must remember that he is a sick person, suffering from a disease known as alcoholism. We learn to treat the alcoholic as we would treat any person who is ill—with love, compassion, and understanding.