I first set foot in Al‑Anon because of my mother’s drinking. My partner, who is in Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.), suggested Al‑Anon, and so did other outside help. At that point, I had been to some open A.A. meetings, and I craved the feeling of community I witnessed there.

One night, the day after my birthday, I hastily decided to go. “It’s now or never,” I told myself, knowing if I kept procrastinating, I’d likely not follow through. I knew Al‑Anon would not stop my mom or any alcoholic from drinking, but I also knew I couldn’t hold the weight of the disease on my own any longer.

The first night, I listened as others shared, and when it was my turn, I shared what I was grateful for, rather than what was truly in my heart. The person after me shared her hurt, anger, and raw emotions. I remember thinking that I felt the same way and wishing I had shared more honestly. I thanked that person after the meeting. Her honesty helped me realize that Al‑Anon is a space where I can be the real me. I’d never had that space at home. Here I could be grateful and devastated.

Al‑Anon is a safe space where I can process my experience within the community. I walked into Al‑Anon during a time when I was convinced I would lose everything to my mom’s drinking. Now, with almost four years in the program, I have gained so much. I’ve gained irreplaceable friendships, a Sponsor, community, safety, and endless tools. Though it wasn’t a way to save or change my mom, Al‑Anon changed and saved me.

By Ashleigh S.

The Forum, June 2024

Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.