Tradition Ten
The Al‑Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Tradition 10. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
Today, my serenity rests on Tradition 10. Since going over this Tradition with my Sponsor in Reaching for Personal Freedom, I have gained a lot of insight into how to keep myself calm in the midst of a storm. I have begun to apply having “no opinion on outside issues” to my life in general. What is an outside issue? I consider things that I cannot change to be outside issues. They are outside the scope of my influence, so I put them to the side, instead of dwelling on them and getting all riled up. My father, for example:… Read more »
It took me a certain time to put Tradition Ten into practice, as before Al-Anon I lacked discretion; I gossiped and I had no sense of what anonymity was. I had opinions on everything and I was not shy to express them. If my opinion differed from yours I could go a long way to prove you wrong and I loved to argue, so I was in my element. I never measured the consequences of what I was expressing and how far it could go or how damaging it could be for others. Today, I love Tradition Ten as it… Read more »
After reading the comments I am surprised to find myself looking at Tradition 10 in a new way. I have always thought that this Tradition only referred to politics, religion or anything that could be controversial. I am learning that it also means that I should mind my own business, especially around things that feel like gossip or can be heard as gossip. Thank you to all the people who made comments and talked about how this Tradition brings safety into our meetings.
Tradition Ten helped me to stop gossiping to make myself interesting and get some attention, which was for me one other way to feel loved. This Tradition also helped to realise that my opinion is something that I don,t always have to voice. Before coming to Al-Anon I had opinions on everything to how you look to how the carrots were growing in your garden. Outside issues, through gossips or giving my opinion, which for me was the business of others, was playing an important role in my life before coming to Al-Anon and even for a while afterward. I… Read more »
Tradition ten reminds me that Al-Anon is a safe place. I don’t need the distraction of involving myself in conversations that cause me discomfort, turmoil, and unease. When I’m at an Al-Anon meeting I can rest assured that none of that will happen. Outside of Al-Anon, Tradition 10 has given me the self confidence to let someone know that I don’t wish to participate in certain discussions. That would never have been possible without the tools I’ve picked up in this wonderful program.
The first time I read about Tradition 10 in Reaching for Personal Freedom, I was taken out at the knees! I had no idea that I wasn’t supposed to mind other people’s business and let them know what I thought they should do! Not even a comment or suggestion when someone is sharing with me? Another person, a problem, a situation….it’s all an outside issue. What freedom this tradition has given me! I am allowed to keep the focus on myself and by doing so, it has made relationships in my life easier, stronger and kinder. Thank you Al-Anon.
I love Tradition Ten because it means that our meeting can be a space free from outside issues where I can focus on my recovery. I need that kind of focus, even if it’s just for that one hour. I don’t follow the news because the stress and negativity it creates are distracting and draining, not good for my mental health. If Al-Anon was a place where I might be subjected to political opinions or discussion of the headlines, I would have quit a long time ago. Tradition Ten is so important to maintain that safe space where we can… Read more »
It took me a couple of months to feel comfortable coming to Al-Anon because I was the only man at those meetings. But something kept brining me back even though I felt out of place. That was nothing new. I felt like I did not fit in anywhere for as far back as I can remember. As the spiritual part of the program took hold, I realized that those ladies were kind and loving and trustworthy. When I was finally able to put the focus on myself and not obsess with the alcoholic in my life, they became my spiritual… Read more »
Tradition Ten talks clearly to our groups, but it also talks volume to me. This Tradition tells me not to have opinions on outside issues, thus having opinion on other people’s lives, situations, etc. Actually, if I am honest, the affairs of others are none of my business. Before coming to the program, I had a tendency to give my opinions to others, whether solicited or not. I also thought I was so knowledgeable that I had answers, even when there was no questions. Talk about being sufficient and arrogant! I could take care of everybody’s business, have an opinion… Read more »
Tradition Ten reminds me that some private thoughts have to do with issues that are none of my business, therefore not part of my primary spiritual aim, so, an outside issue. In my marriage, politics is an outside issue and therefore I try to leave alone those opinions where I disagree. I found such insight in Reaching for Personal Freedom on page 107 about Tradition Ten, “If I hear something that I consider questionable, I am reminded that I can have a private thought without necessarily voicing my opinion.” Sometimes my trials create opportunities for self-analysis and change. I heard… Read more »
Keeping outside issues away from our meetings is the most important issue involving Tradition Ten. Leaving everything at the door other than our CAL (Conference Approved Literature) tells me that this meeting is healthy as following this Tradition suggests. Having done a tremendous amount of service work in Al-Anon it’s amazing that I still have many lessons to learn with many friends who teach me this as knowing many of the officers has really helped. Keeping Al-Anon’s name away from public controversy is truly important to me as I hold the traditions very close to my heart and believe that… Read more »
Tradition Ten politely tells to mind my business, keeping an open eye and a sharp mind on my attitudes and my actions. I have my hands full doing only that. I can still be interested in other people’s doing and way of thinking, therefore I have to be vigilant to bring the focus back on myself. I used to be a busy body and I was enjoying myself in solving others’ problems. After being in the program for a while and working on my recovery, to the best of my abilities, there was very little time left to look after… Read more »
Tradition Ten helps me understand, even in my personal life, that anything outside of my primary spiritual aim might be an outside issue. At the very least, it warrants my investigation. I often react to the issues of others, particularly when they are complaining to me. Sometimes the other person is upset about my opinion on their issue. With Tradition Ten, I can take a moment to evaluate whether or not the person’s issue is directly affecting me. I can ask myself if it is related to my primary spiritual aim. If not, it is an outside issue. Tradition Ten… Read more »
Tradition Ten : The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy. I have been reading Paths to Recovery and receiving some much needed serenity during this time of Covid-19 pandemic and political / social turmoil. The program has enormous reserves of wisdom for us to tap into during our personal times of trial and tribulation. Concentrate on our common bonds and remembering there is no official Al-Anon opinion keeps me coming back. Remembering I can’t use Al-anon to change other people. It’s too bad about them, what about… Read more »