Step Five
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 5. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
When I first came to Al-Anon, Step Five didn’t receive my vote! I was not ready to admit much, let alone do it with somebody else. However, the Steps are written in such a sensitive order that when I came to Step Five, this didn’t seem too terrible. I first realised that admitting to God, as I understood Him, was not so bad after all. He already knew “the exact nature of my wrongs.” Admitting to myself my wrongs required humility, honesty, and courage, but since I had gone through the four first Steps I had a good head start.… Read more »
I found freedom in working Step Five. Admitting my wrongs to God allowed me to release the guilt I had carried most of my life. Admitting my wrongs to myself allowed me to forgive myself as I was able to understand my behavior. Admitting my wrongs to another person allowed me to see that I am not alone in this journey; that others have done the same things that I have done in desperation. Things that I thought were horrible, embarrassing, and unforgivable were not shocking to my Sponsor when I shared them with her. After working Step Five, I… Read more »
Our counterculture will try everything to keep us from succeeding and this is likely the reason that moral inventory is never to be taken lightly. I am not without remorse and the realization that we cannot always verbalize it, but we can show how much we care in other ways. Finding a confidant seems impossible sometimes, so we must be individuals within until we are sure of safety in disclosure.
” Admitted” –the first word –I opened the door and allowed TRUST to enter my life—- trust in a loving spiritual power greater than myself and acceptance of my humanness —I am not GOD—I can “Let Go and Let God”! I can trust myself and it is ok to make mistakes —acceptance of who I am and that I am valuable allows me the space to grow and develop my strengths too. Trusting in another human gives me hope –I am grateful to those that came before me and provided CAL (Conference Approved Literature) to help me along my path… Read more »
I love the order in which this Step is written. I love that I first have to admit to God my wrongs, then to myself and then to another human being. When I admit to something, I confess or agree that something is true, even if I do it reluctantly at times. When I am humble and honest this is something I could do. I have done more than one Step Five and each time there were discoveries and growth for me. For me admitting to God was the easiest part. The way I understood Him made it easy as… Read more »
It was a year and a half before I was ready to take Step Five for the first time. Yes, I was exhausted from Step Four. It was huge progress for me to admit the exact nature of my wrongs to myself and my Higher Power. I had stopped justifying bad behavior in my efforts to control my alcoholic husband’s drinking. I now found it easy to talk to my Higher Power because I had faith and trust in my HP’s guidance and caring for me. But the reality was that I still did not trust other people yet–even my… Read more »
Admitting my wrongs to God was easy; God does not gossip nor share my wrongdoings with others. Admitting them to myself? Whoa….I’d been doing that for years. I played and replayed the demeaning “tapes” in my mind a thousand times. But…admitting them to another human? Aloud? How would I face the shame of the harmful things I had done? I took a deep breath, opened my notebook and began to read my list to my sponsor. I was amazed when I heard this “strong, upstanding” lady say “I’ve done that” and “You did that, too?” I connected with another person… Read more »
By admitting my defects of character to God, to myself, and to another human being, I freed myself from thinking I was worthless and unlovable, that I was unique in the way I had lived my life up until that point, and that no one could possibly understand or forgive me. I learned that not only was I not judged, but that God forgave me and that I needed to forgive myself before I could begin to forgive others. I came to the understanding that I wasn’t as unique as I thought; so many others were traveling the same journey.… Read more »
I worked my Step 5 concurrently with my Step 4 with my Sponsor. I needed support answering the questions provided in our Conference Approved Literature, so I talked to my Sponsor as things came up for me and we took our time. That is one of the lessons of recovery for me is that it’s not a race! There is not really an end to it. Every time I work the Steps something new surfaces and I am able to see things more clearly. I am grateful to Sponsorship. I am grateful that this Step says that I admitted to… Read more »
What I had learned about myself, in doing Step Four, had paved the way for this Step that I was apprehending. Fear and false pride were the greatest obstacles in the process. I did my first Step Five many years ago, after being in the program for a fairly short time. To admit to God the exact nature of my wrongs was not necessarily difficult, because I believed that my Loving God knew the sensitivity of my heart et the fragility of my soul. To become aware of my wrongs, through Step Four and give them to Him relieved me… Read more »
In working Step 5, sharing with God was the easiest for me because I figured He already knew all about me. But it opened up a conversation with God that allowed me to ask for forgiveness and for help in changing my life’s path. Admitting to myself was the hardest because I did not want to accept blame. I didn’t want to admit that the misery in my life could have been avoided if I had behaved differently. But admitting to myself turned out to be empowering. I could see that I was taking a different path now and in… Read more »
Step Five is where I discovered I belonged to the human race. By admitting the exact nature of my wrongs to another trusted person, I stepped off my God-box and became an equal with my fellows. What a miracle! Although I didn’t know it at the time, I experienced humility, and not humiliation, when I worked my first Fifth Step with my Sponsor.
Step Five Doing Steps One, Two, and Three helped me get a closer connection to my Higher Power. For the first time I truly had a spiritual connection with my Higher Power. Before coming to Al-Anon I believed in God, but now I had a better understanding of what my God was, a loving and spiritual being that is always with me. This connection gave me humility, with this newly found spirituality I could look at myself closer and more honestly without being afraid. I did my First Step study early in the program with a group of people I… Read more »
Step Five “Admitted to God” first was very important to me I believe because it confirmed for me that I could and do trust this God that I had previously began to trust and this relationship was already being slowly developed before this Step. It reminded me that I could believe in the honesty that my Higher Power continues each day to let me become aware of me so I can receive the ability to be honest instead of trying to minimize or manipulate my own thoughts. This brings me to myself that I can make a decision to share… Read more »
Step Five is my litmus test; How is my relationship with God, relationship with myself and relationship with my Sponsor? My experience tells me if I am actively participating in these three relationships the others will be in the right place and will improve or not to be.
Step Five, although scary to me when I first read it, became more accessible and feasible as I grew in the program. Having gone through the precedent Steps had prepared me to look at my past behavior and recognized honestly, that my rather strange ways of being had created chaos in my life. I was also able to see the impact that alcoholism has had in my life. Even after doing Step Four, my false pride was keeping me from going into Step Five. I knew that in doing so I was slowing down my growth. The pain I was… Read more »