Welcome to First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
Today Veronica, Tarcila, and Wendy will tell us how they handled money problems that were due to someone else’s drinking.
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My dad, mom, and sister are all abusers. Today we don’t have money to buy groceries because they’ve spent it all on alcohol. I’m 34 and all of my life has been slow progressing because of them. It’s a black hole that never ends. I ended up on psych meds because of them.
The best way to get support when dealing with someone else’s drinking is in Al-Anon meetings. There is no pre-registration for joining Al-Anon. All you have to do is look up the meeting you want to attend and start attending. You can find local and virtual or electronic meetings available at: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/.
My hubby is an alcoholic. He never has money for petrol due to his drinking and he always has to borrow money. But as soon as I buy abit of extra groceries, he looses his mind.
I’m currently married to a functional alcoholic who in the beginning hid his drinking as we were young but then became abusive and has been financially abusive for years working bare minimum and neglecting himself to have alcohol. He never bought clothes, I did. I noticed him not paying bills even though I give half on them, pocketing the cash. Now I only pay what he pays on.
My wife is unemployed and I have to buy her beer and cigarettes daily… This has gotten way too costly and I don’t know how to stop it… Just saying I’m not going to do it anymore doesn’t cut it… I feel like I’m being dragged down a hole I’ll never get out of…
I have been married 20 years. My husband has a drinking problem and I am concerned about protecting myself financially from his drinking and driving.
I’ve been with my husband 3 years. Have a 2 year old and another on the way. I’m so drained emotionally and financially. We are living paycheck to paycheck because he spends all of our money on whiskey and beer. As soon as I get paid I hurry and make all the payments I need to, this helps me make sure he doesn’t spend it before I get a chance to pay the house bills. I try to go grocery shopping and buy as much food as I can afford to because if I wait more than a day after… Read more »
My boyfriend and father of my 4 month old is an alcoholic. I knew this before we got together, but he was 2 years sober at the time. When I met him he had a regular job. In fact, we met at work. Cut to now: he has been drinking for over a year now. Right before we found out I was pregnant. Anyway, we had money issues even before that because I was the only one working, he kept asking me to get him weed so he could self medicate, and then rinse and repeat. Then he started drinking… Read more »
I keep all the money from my alcoholic husband so he can’t spend it on alcohol. He just finds other ways to get it.
I am a mother of 3 girls and have been with their dad for 13 years. I believe he is an alcoholic! He has no job (for over 6 years now). He does odd jobs to try to pay his portion of the bills I ask him to pay (which he can’t most of the time). But he can have money to buy vodka and beer. I’ve always paid 90% to his 10%. 4 days out of this week he has been drunk when I got home from work. Yesterday I came home to vomit on the floor that I… Read more »
My soon-to-be husband drinks away our money every month. We have two young children and he is very moody/gets a temper quickly when he’s run out of alcohol. He then returns back to his normal happy self once he’s drinking again. I’m now fed up of this we are to the point that we have two weeks left until payday and literally have no money left at all. I don’t know how we are going to sort dinners etc. I had a collection of gins and other spirits brought for my birthday’s over the years (I’m not a big drinker… Read more »
I caught my husband drinking vodka from the bottle this morning at 5:30a.m. A.M.!!!!! This while I’m getting ready for work and worried about finances because he’s self-employed, works at home, and drinks and sleeps and complains about leg pain more than he actually works, so I’ve been having to cover his half of the expenses. I put money into his business account just yesterday and paid his business credit card bill and he went out and bought yet another bottle, knowing all of this. Very frustrated and just emotionally and financially drained and I just need to vent!
I live with my cousin who is a severe alcoholic, all was well until he lost his winter hours on the job (due to drinking) I have an 8 yr old and had to pay ALL of rent last month and now he has no money this month. I’m in process of finding new place (will not be taking him) but I Need the reference from this landlord, I don’t know what to do. I do NOT have what he owes which at this point is totaling all but $50 dollars of this months rent.
My husband just wants to spend money on alcohol. I pay most of the bills and he steals from me.
From what I read, many women who posted here were abused financially, some other ways, and they were also disabled. There are no laws to protect disabled women in abusive marriages. This shouldn’t be happening.
My struggle in a nutshell: I love the person my husband is, but not his habitual drinking and smoking. He can’t hold a job because of his chronic pain…mostly brought on by bad choices/living. He is wonderful, smart, great father to our 7 kids…but is sapping us dry financially and emotionally. This week: negative temps all day and night. Oil tank almost empty. I don’t get paid for 6 more days. Car almost out of gas. I made 40 extra bucks the other day, so with that and 40 more from the account I will buy diesel to keep us… Read more »
My husband keeps the financial abuse going due to being an alcoholic. He spends $300 a month (drinking the $3.50 a bottle wine x 3 per day) so if you do the math that’s how many bottles he drinks a week/month. That money cuts into our finances because he racks up a charge card, which is up to $3,000 a month and left to pay a few hundred a month on it. It’s no big deal to him because he goes to work everyday. The typical functioning alcoholic excuse! When we were first married, I did not realize how bad… Read more »
There are so many people out there struggling to find a way out. I am 50 and my whole life has been spent trying to keep life functioning for the alcoholic spouse. I have 3 beautiful children that I love so much. I too, have been afraid for years of not having a roof over their heads or being able to give them the basic necessities, waiting for the electric to be turned off, because we cannot afford to pay. Meanwhile he goes to supposedly 12 AA meetings a week,but hides the fact that he is still drinking to sponsor,… Read more »
I have been with my partner 6 yrs, we have a 4 yr old daughter. He is an alcoholic, drinks beer every single day, between 8-12 at least, he is also on methadone, and takes prescription pain meds, but he takes his entire prescribed monthly amount in less than a week. I decided to split the money so he can see how he spends his, and he is supposed to pay half of bills. He does not pay any of his half though, in fact doesnt contribute in any way, and he actually has snuck my debit card and has… Read more »
This I’ve ever been on any Al-Anon website. First I’d like to thank everyone for sharing. Well for me I have experience drinking first time for myself which actually I haven’t drink for a long time now. Unfortunately I’ve been disabled for over the last three years I have no income of my own I’m still waiting on a decision from disability at the hearing stage therefore my husband seems to only want to drink on an everyday basis for the last basically the last month he’s constantly missing work any extra money he’s constantly waiting on alcohol beverages us… Read more »