I Was Finally Able to Be Me

As my husband’s drinking got worse, I found myself drifting away from my friends because I didn’t want them to see what was going on. I stopped inviting people to the house because I wasn’t sure what mood he would be in, and I stopped accepting invitations because I wasn’t sure what I would come home to. I thought if I were at home, maybe he wouldn’t drink or at least not drink so much.

One day I realized I didn’t have any close friends anymore—no one I could really confide in or be myself with. I was always pretending things were wonderful when in fact, they weren’t. What an exhausting way to live!

Then I found Al-Anon. At first, I was frightened about walking into a room full of strangers and discussing the intimate details of my life, especially since I had gotten so good at hiding them. But all I really had to do was walk into the room, take a seat and listen. I noted the word friendship in the welcome:

“We welcome you…and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy.”

I soon discovered that the people there felt less like strangers once I realized the common bond we shared. I also discovered that I would not find a more kindhearted, caring group of people on earth than at an Al-Anon meeting.

Slowly I have learned that I can drop the pretense of a perfect life and let people see the real me. I haven’t gotten all my old friends back, but that’s okay because I now have a new group of friends who truly understand me and with whom I can be myself.

By Jeri D., Wisconsin  

The Forum, May 2018

2018-04-26T14:25:23+00:00 April 26, 2018|Categories: Alcoholic Spouse or Partner, The Forum|


  1. Leann May 2018 at 7:55 pm

    Very frustrated with the ongoing drinking, I’ll be gone 1/2 hour, not showing up for hours afterward. My husband coming to family celebrations drunk and starting crap with my grown children. I’m verbally and psychologically abused when he is drunk. My coping skills have disappeared after 20 years, not sure what to do. never been to a meeting, embarrassed.

  2. Giulia May 2018 at 3:25 pm

    Thank You very much.

  3. Lois May 2018 at 1:46 pm

    Thanks for sharing, I am going through the same thing with my husband, I don’t know what to do!!! I have no friends, just my kids which are all grown up. My oldest daughter 42 lives with me and my husband, we watch him sneak his liquor… he is drinking a bottle within a day and a half!!! He doesn’t hate me, but he cusses me now a lot. I am so angry, what do I do !!! I feel so alone …

  4. Maureen May 2018 at 3:47 pm

    Wonderful! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Angelina M. April 2018 at 6:59 pm

    I am scared never been to a meeting before how can I go there and not be scared

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