A Newfound Inner Peace

As the wife of an active alcoholic, I have been awakened hundreds of nights by crashes of glass, yells from the other room, or intrusions into the bedroom where I was attempting to sleep. Usually these would occur at about three or four o’clock in the morning, and I would often react with screams of my own, usually in the form of insults or threats. I would stomp out to the porch, feeling justified in releasing my venom. All that these actions did, though, was assure that I would stay awake, thus affecting the following day, as well as the rest of that night. My solution was to make a sign and place it on my nightstand which read—

Once the alcoholic starts drinking, he is no longer himself, and so I am wasting my breath and destroying my serenity by talking to the bottle.

This strategy works much of the time, although sometimes I still have my lapses. It reminds me that our program is about “Progress Not Perfection.”

By Karlyn P., Florida

The Forum, July 2018

2018-06-29T16:08:22+00:00June 29, 2018|Categories: Alcoholic Spouse or Partner, The Forum|


  1. Anonymous July 2018 at 6:55 am

    Same story for me
    My anxiety is out of control
    He constantly tries to engage me after drink 2 and I am doing my best to detach with love
    I would say most nights I can do it but feel so deflated when I wake up each morning knowing I have a 8 hour period of time before it all begins again
    My dilemma is that we have an adult child with complex special needs so I can’t easily leave
    I appreciate this site as it offers me guidance and hope
    Thank you

  2. Michelle July 2018 at 1:30 pm

    I’m living exactly the same as you. I feel discouraged and impotent about this. Sometimes I feel like it’s my fault, sometimes I know it’s his decision. But in fact it’s hard to ignore, watch him destroying himself is killing me.

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