Is it hard to trust people?

Published by at 10:15 am under Common Concerns

Welcome to First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.

Today Hannah, Catherine, Jerry, and Veronica will tell us how someone’s drinking affected their ability to trust people.

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53 comments on “Is it hard to trust people?”

  1. Joe says:

    I was married to my best friend. She is an alcoholic/addict. She has abused my trust more times than I can count in our 16 year relationship. Sneaking, hiding and lying is what she is best at. She swears she’s never used any street drugs, but how the heck do I know what she has and hasn’t done. The newest thing is strange phone numbers on her cell phone. She’s constantly texting. Of course when I’m around, the ringer gets turned off, so I can’t see when she’s getting texted or called. She’s great at covering her tracks. I’m worried as hell she might be cheating on me literally, as well as the metaphorically induced feeling of the alcohol/drugs being the other man. I feel like I’m just going through the motions. We just bought our first house, we have 4 kids one of which has already been arested for smoking pot in the high school locker room, she has been in a program, a real chip off the old block. . All I want is for the bs to stop, she is 33 days sober, Has a sponsor and she looks like she is really trying this time. I think she knows that I’m at the end of my rope with her actions, so she is afraid of getting kicked out. I just hope we can get past the trust issues and move forward. Otherwise I fear a divorce is eminent. There is so much at stake, I’ve worked so hard to support her and the family. And of course I feel like if we do separate, in the state we live in she will get the kids the house and I’ll end up paying for her screw ups for the rest of my life, and I’ll have nothing to show for it. I guess I need to go to al-anon. Have to give it a try before I lose my mind…

  2. Claudia says:

    My husband and I will be married for 11 years next month. We have battled his alcoholism for about 9 years. He goes to occasional meetings and talks occasionally to his sponsor. He suffers from depression and then tends to isolate and relapse. I’ve been trying to see my part in the enabling and have detached more and more with love. The problem is that now the detachment is reaching the loneliness area. I’m getting back to my more independent and active self that I was before we were married, but I’m finding that in the process I trust him less and less. I’m really wrestling with the possible reality that trust may remain a relative term if I stay with him. Perhaps that’s letting go of my co-dependence. What concerns me even more is that I am so tired of the chaos, projections and meanness. I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive home and I’m really struggling with remaining in this marriage. I feel like he does just enough in recovery to give himself an out to the bottle and I’m really sick of it.

    Thanks for listening.

  3. Ann says:

    Married 15 years. I love my husband but wonder why I am still married. He overconsumes/binge drinks and is mean. I end up searching the house for bottles and wonder why I am still doing this. Is it really love? And I going to be eighty doing the same thing. It is just a dirty secret I keep to myself.

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