Janie, Ernie, and Frances, all active Al-Anon members are with us today to talk about how Al-Anon helped them deal with drinking during the holidays.
“First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery” from Al-Anon Family Groups is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
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Yesterday, Christmas Eve, my daughter drank all day as she did the day before. I could tell she hadn’t sobered up enough to go to Christmas Eve service at our church so we missed it. I didn’t trust her to leave her home while I went. I guess it was an improvement over last year, when I knew she was drunk and said we wouldn’t go then too. She snuck out, went to a bar and showed up at church where she made a scene and I was called to come get her. Last night a member of my al-anon… Read more »
The holidays are a strange time for me. I grew up with an alcoholic mother who went all out for the holidays, spent money we did not have, cooked more food than we could eat and played Christmas music all the time. She was usually pretty drunk all the time as well. I always got suckered into her disease when she was in the holiday mood, and then out of nowhere her drunken rage would find its way to ruin everything, as always. So most of the time the holidays were a time waiting for the other shoe to drop… Read more »
Thank you for a wonderful podcast. I like the concept of “not leaving myself.”
Thanks for the podcast. Despite many years in the program I slip back very quickly. I am writing this in the early a.m. from in-laws (none in recovery) after a sleepless night. Here for a celebration, but it is easy to get sidetracked into resentment and obsessing…the podcast helps.
My mother-in-law and father-in-law are both alcoholics but have not gotten any help. They do not believe there is a problem. My husband has expressed his concern and that whenever they are drinking they can get beligerent and say things that are insulting about our parenting skills. We have 3 young children and are feeling that it may be best to stay home for the holidays, as their drinking causes undue stress for both of us. I have not attended a meeting yet. I am just starting to begin my search for help.
I feel just like the people in this podcast; I anticipate the disappointment of drinking, drugging or a family fight way before the holiday has arrived. I lived in an alcoholic family and live with an alcoholic husband today. Although he has 15 months of sobriety, it recently came to light, that his behaviors have not changed, more importantly, nor mine. I strive to be happy and my hope is that in 2011, I can change enough to honestly say I am happy.
For what I now recognize as a cycle spanning many years and many holidays, various members of my family have born the brunt of nasty behaviour that sprang like a slap in the face across a holiday table. Only with the insights of another distant cousin, familiar with Al-Anon and alcoholism in her own family, and now with what I’ve begun to study here, have I come to the important realization that the root of the problem is indeed alcoholism and not principally some deficiency in character. Now I’m faced with dealing with the real “truth,” which I know in… Read more »
I have been sober for 23 years; my daughter for 12 years; my son for 6. We have a pretty functional life together. I have had to rely on Al-Anon principles through the years to help navigate the powerlessness that is our reality when it comes to the behavior of others. So far, so good. As my husband and I traveled to my parents home this Christmas, we knew we were entering family in crisis. My youngest brother and his wife are separated because of alcohol. He was there with his two children – a five-year-old who seems to be… Read more »
I really appreciated the shared comments. There is a lot of addiction in our family system and the holidays can be difficult in that anxiety levels increase and a lot of “stuff” just flies around. Al-Anon helps keep me centered and allows me to set boundaries without guilt and shame.
The tools for living I get from Al-Anon were life-savers for me this past Thanksgiving. Leading up to the holiday, I was becoming anxious about the possibilities of many things going wrong. When I shared with my group and with my sponsor, they reminded me that I have the right to communicate my concerns with kindness and that there is the same probability that things will go right as there are that they may go wrong. I forget to think about what might go right. Before we arrived for the holiday, I spoke to my husband, an active drinker, about… Read more »
I wanted to say that I agree with Ernie in respect to my Al-Anon family. I feel so lost without them now. I once had a great relationship with some wonderful people in my home group. I recently moved far away from my home group and am so lost without Al-Anon. I hope that I can make those kinds of connections where I am at now. My Al-Anon family is very special. It keeps me grounded and gives me the serenity I have sought for so long.